1. "Content Brain"
Haiku of the day. My liver hates me. My kidneys are pretty mad. My brain though? Content.
2. "Important Meeting"
haiku of the day: should probably bathe ah fuck it, where's my wet naps? important meeting.
3. "Shrinking Jeans"
Haiku of the day: Are my jeans shrinking? Has my dryer gone faulty? Nope, I just got fat.
4. "Pink Lei"
Second haiku of the day: wearing a pink lei. On my head like a weirdo. I like how it looks.
5. "Sleeping with the Enemy"
haiku of the day: cuddles with the wife. sleeping with the enemy. is on amc.
6. "5K"
haiku of the day: I ran a 5K. My time would have been better. But I stopped to poop.
7. "Buddy"
Random fact haiku of the day: I had a dog once. Buddy, he died on the road. Touring with Zeppelin.
8. "Coyote Trap"
Haiku of the day: Engineer needed. For work on coyote trap. Laser skills a must.
9. "Pounding Cupcakes"
haiku of the day: Got a thrown out back. Prolly gonna shit my pants. Just pounding cupcakes.
10. "Tight Jeans"
haiku of the day: My toes are buzzing. Circulation is cut off. Tight ass fucking jeans.
11. "Cookie by Cookie"
haiku of the day 2: Craft service table. I will fucking destroy you. cookie by cookie.
12. "ChrisPratt.com"
haiku of the day: Rejoice Followers! It's DEATH METAL SATURDAY! See ChrisPratt.Com
13. "Ceelo"
Haiku of the day: Dancing to Ceelo. Put that shit in and blast it! I'm smiling so big!!!!