1. Hot Cheetos are objectively the most appetizing snack I've ever tried.
2. I swear, even if I wanted to, I would be neuro-chemically unable to say no to a bag of Hot Cheetos.
3. Why? I mean, let's start with the fact that no one can actually explain the flavor of Hot Cheetos. It's a perfect culinary equation no one can explain.
4. Hot Cheetos have been able to distill "HNGGGG" into an actual flavor.
5. I've literally never walked by a bag of Hot Cheetos and not instantly salivated.
6. I swear even the bags are designed to crinkle at just the right, aurally-pleasing pitch.
7. It's that combination of spicy, salty, umami, tangy, and pure pain flavor that keeps you reaching into the bag...
I'm: ⚪️ a man ⚪️ a woman 🔘 looking for hot cheetos asteroids 😔
8. ...as well as the way each Cheetos is coated in the perfect amount of powder — enough to rub your tongue raw, but not so much to keep you from appreciating every fine particle in all its intensity.
9. Hot Cheetos reward the true gourmand. There's nothing like popping a Cheeto into your mouth and suck-dissolving all the flavor into your mouth.
10. And if you're too full to finish the bag? Well, you know you have to if you want to perfect the insatiable finger lollipop known as the Hot Cheetos Finger.
11. Thinking back, I guess I do regret almost every time I finished a bag of Hot Cheetos right before cross-country practice. But then again, regret is the maker of all the best love stories, amiright*?
Thinking about it... back in highschool folks really ate hot Cheetos everyday
*no.
12. Hot Cheetos also work as the world's best garnish. Don't have any basil? Sprinkle just a few of these red sticks and enjoy your time in Pleasure Town.
13. It even makes disgusting abominations like PICKLES palatable.
14. Whoever said Hot Cheetos are gross just doesn't have the palette for refined foods.
15. Hot Cheetos are a special brand of deliciousness. They're honestly not even in the same flavor category as their father, regular Cheetos.
16. Hot Cheetos are a food preference and an aesthetic.
17. And just like scrunchies, childhood, and kitschy mugs, you know Hot Cheetos will never fall out of taste ❤️.
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