I Just Learned Something About Take 5 Bars That Will Mildly Disturb You

Nothing is real.

In the world of chocolate bars, Take 5 is like Timothée Chalamet. A snack, but with an unconventional name and forgettable packaging. Also, not many people know what it even is.

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...But those who have experienced it are obsessed. I'm still talking about both the chocolate bar and the actor, by the way. Keep up, Thomas.

Here's what a Take 5 bar looks like, in case you're not in the know.

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It's made with pretzels, caramel, chocolate, peanuts, and a creamy peanut butter filling, aka the best parts of all candy bars out there.

Well, today I learned a mildly disturbing fact about Take 5 that proves you can't trust anyone: Take 5 is made using Reese’s peanut butter.

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This fact was confirmed by Jack Wilder, Reese’s senior brand manager. Also, if you read the top text of the wrapper really quickly it looks like it says, "Slayer Bar," which should have been my first big clue that this chocolate bar is full of secrets. But more likely means I need to renew my prescription.

That's right, Take 5 is manufactured using the ingredients of another popular chocolate.

Frankly, this doesn't change my life in any significant way, but it does make me wonder what other food conglomerates are secretly monopolizing their respective markets.

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Also I finally understand the title of this show.

I mean, what's next? Am I going to find out my Pepsi is just Coke with citric acid? Is Trader Joe's just Walmart with crunchy branding?

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I guess only time will tell.