8 Weirdest News Stories You Missed This Weekend While SB49 Was Clogging Up Your Twitter Feed

In the wake of Katy Perry's hunger game reenactment and depressing insurance commercials, it is time to catch up on the hard-hitting journalism that you missed.

8. Woman who mistakenly called APD detective and offered drugs arrested

Albuquerque police say a woman thought she was selling drugs to a buyer. Instead, she dialed the wrong number and called an APD detective.

7. Grandfather who HATED pigeons dies of breathing problems linked to freak bird allergy

Via express.co.uk

Breaking news in the UK: Morbid Irony has struck again.

6. Pregnant Smokers Persuaded to Quit With Free Diapers

Via moneysavingmom.com

Thanks Ohio!

5. Beginner bank robber downloaded online 'how to' crime guide

Via bbc.com

"He was undoubtedly a beginner − we found robbery 'self-help' downloads on his phone" -Detective Darren Brown

4. Man decides to set off a fire alarm after clogging his toilet up with potatoes

Via metro.co.uk

Turns out:

1. Potatoes cannot be flushed down toilets.

2. Setting a fire alarm off rarely solves non-fire related problems.

3. Tuna born from mackerel: Japanese scientists develop surrogate tech to save threatened species

Via en.rocketnews24.com

Sushi lovers everywhere can finally breathe a deep sigh of relief.

2. 7 recipes for snow

Via treehugger.com

Apparently you can eat yellow snow. Recipes include "vegan coconut maple snow cream" and "peppermint."

1. Bryn Mawr College Sorry for Sending Fitness Email to the Overweight

Bryn Mawr officially tops weight watchers' superbowl commercial for most aggressive fat-shaming