19 Relationship Tips From Real-Life Couples Who Have Been Together For Pretty Much Forever

    "Something as simple as picking up the other's favorite dessert from the grocery store goes a long way."

    Recently, we asked the BuzzFeed Community to share how they keep their long-term relationships fulfilling even after years and years together. Here's what they had to say to all the other couples out there:

    1. "Always keep working on yourself. That means find out more about talents and gifts you have, work on your mindset to reach new levels of growth, learn more about the world, try out new hobbies, and always keep on healing old wounds. The more you allow yourself to better yourself and to unfold into your full potential, the more you will feel renewed and refreshed — and your partner will feel the new different energy. And as a result, they will work on themselves, too, and you two will always find yourselves in exciting new levels of yourself and with each other."

    James Garner and Gena Rowlands in The Notebook

    2. "Never stop saying please and thank you, asking for help/an opinion when you technically don't 'have to,' and just overall remembering they have feelings and deserve to be appreciated, even if it's something small."


    3. "My husband and I have been together since 2007. An older, funny as hell, hippie lady told me the secret to a long relationship is understanding sometimes the tide goes out. But, baby, just hold on because the tide is going to come back in! Her and her old man had been together for decades when she told me that."

    Zooey Deschanel and Joseph Gordon-Levitt in (500) Days of Summer

    4. "Together for 18 years, married for almost six. Physical affection such as hugs when returning home, grabbing their a-- in public (consensually, of course), etc. Thanking them for making dinner or doing other stuff around the house. Asking for and providing forgiveness when things inevitably go wrong."


    5. "55 years this August. Honesty = trust. Without trust, there is no marriage."

    Blythe Danner and Robert De Niro in Meet the Parents

    6. "My boyfriend and I have been together almost eight years. Relationships aren't easy or perfect, but you have to try to work stuff out as much as possible; but also try to have a little fun, especially when times are really bad and stressful. It will help get you through them."


    7. "We've been together almost nine years now, but it really doesn't feel like it! I like looking at him from across the room and remembering why I fell in love with him. Basically, gratitude and appreciation of who we were and who we've become."

    Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone in Crazy, Stupid, Love

    8. "Make your relationship a priority and put aside time for each other every day, even if it's just a few minutes. Understand you will both change A LOT over the course of your relationship. Life happens and impacts us all differently. There will be ebbs and flows. There will be times where one or both of you don’t have a lot to give. Communicate clearly and be understanding."


    9. "We have weekly date nights. This was usually true before we had kids, but became official and even more important after having kids. We try to go out when we can find babysitting, but if not, we still have a date night in each week. We order takeout and eat together after the kids go to bed, and then usually watch a new movie or play a board game. It's nice knowing we have scheduled time alone together every week to look forward to!"

    Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake in Friends with Benefits

    10. "Together for 10, married for five this year. We make a concerted effort to check in with each other if we sense something is off. We give each other space as needed, which for both of us, can be entire evenings doing our own thing. We are always considerate of one another. We go out of our way to be kind and thoughtful every day. We put our relationship and each other first, always. We both did at least a year of therapy to learn how to be emotionally healthy in the long-term, for ourselves and for each other."

    "Because we're so kind and considerate to each other, we are also able to let our personalities shine through in every interaction. We feel safe to call each other out as equally as we are to roast each other to oblivion. We didn't have kids on purpose, which also helps us to focus on only our marriage. It's not for everyone, but it has worked out super well for us. He's my favorite human on Earth."


    11. "We have been together for 11 years, and we always make sure to have dates. We also plan ahead for sex. One of us will text something naughty in the morning, and then we both know it's on for that night."

    Luke Macfarlane in Bros

    12. "My husband and I have been married for 21 years, and we make time to try each others' hobbies from time to time. Going out with him to the golf course and having him teach me how to swing a club is sexy, and he loves teaching me a little more about his favorite pastime. He also enjoys going to museums with me and hearing me talk about my passion for art. Learning new things about each other makes us feel like we are dating again and getting to know each other all over again."


    13. "Been together 17.5 years. We always tell each other everything! We make time for it. All the random silly thoughts you have, the TikTok you saw, a question that pooped into your head while watching TV, or the dream you had. I feel like living together isn't enough for it to work. You have to share your inner mind, and all of it. That way, you are actually sharing a life lived."

    Charles Melton and Yara Shahidi in The Sun Is Also a Star

    14. "Vacation alone together without the kids. Every year or two."


    15. "I've been living with my partner for 10 years, and we're in our mid-30s. We make it a point to go on a date to a nice restaurant once a month, preferably somewhere new. We also like to travel together, which always gives you a renewed sense of joy and fun with each other. Basically, continue to go on dates and experience new things together!"

    Ali Wong and Randall Park in Always Be My Maybe

    16. "I've been married to my husband for almost seven years and together with him for 14. You really have to keep things spicy and spontaneous in the bedroom! We're trying new positions, toys, and different kinds of foreplay. Sure, there are a lot of quickies because of our kids, but we also make time for a long, touchy-feely sensual session!"


    17. "21 years together. We met our freshmen year of college, and we had a lot of fun dating. After all those years, we make sure that we make time for fun. Two kids, two professional careers, and so many obligations; we still make time to laugh and enjoy being together."

    Emilia Clarke and Sam Claflin in Me Before You

    18. "I've been with my partner for the better part of 14 years. My best advice is to have your own lives as well as a life together. Seeing the other person as an independent human is the only way to keep the intrigue alive."


    19. "Over time relationships definitely evolve. I've been with my wife for nearly a decade, and I'm not sure you ever get that same feeling of first dating someone or the 'honeymoon stage' back after it happens. That said, your relationship evolves into something more meaningful as the years go by and you enter new stages of life. The biggest key for us has been continuing to make time for each other and doing little things for one another that let the other know that we love them. Something as simple as picking up the other's favorite dessert from the grocery store goes a long way."

    Noah Centineo and Lana Condor in To All the Boys: Always and Forever

    What relationship tip(s) would you add to this list? Tell us in the comments!

    Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.