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The Top 11 Stoner Duos Of All Time

Things are never quite as scary when you have a buddy at your side. Puff, puff, pass.

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Chester: "How wasted were we last night?"

Jesse: "Well, I touched Christy Boner's hoo-hoo, were on the hook for two hundred thousand dollars to a transsexual stripper, and my car's gone. I'd say we were pretty wasted."


Silas: "So, you trying to get something to bring your nerves down too, huh?"

Jamal: "Yeah. I figure if I study high, take the test high, get high scores! Right?"

Silas: "Right."

Jamal and Silas: "Right..."

Ted: "Now your dad's going for it in your own room!"

Bill: "Shut up, Ted."

Ted: "Your stepmom is cute, though."

Bill: "Shut up, Ted!"

Ted: "Remember when I asked her to the prom?"

Bill: "SHUT UP, TED!"


Craig: "What I'm trippin on, is how you gonna sell bud, when you smoke it?"

Smokey: "I don't know. That's my only problem."

Craig: "Big Worm gonna fuck you up."

Smokey: "Big Worm ain't gonna do a goddamn thing, man."

Craig: "All right..."

Ted: "Oh hey listen, try this, I told my weed guy to step it up and he gave me that."

John: "What is this?"

Ted: "It's called 'Mind Rape', it's actually pretty mellow."

John: "It doesn't sound very mellow."

Ted: "Well he only had three other batches: 'Gorilla Panic', 'They're Coming! They're Coming!' and something called 'This Is Permanent'... Go on, spark it up!"

Harold: "I am so hungry. I'm gonna eat, like, 20 of those burgers, man."

Kumar: "Dude, fuckin' I will see your 20 burgers and raise you 5 orders of fries."


Dale: "Even if he found that roach, how could he find us?"

Saul: "Um... heat-seeking missiles... bloodhounds... and foxes... barracudas..."

Dale: "I'm just - I'm kind of flabbergasted when you say things like that. It's weird."

Saul: "Thank you."

Dale: "Not a compliment."

Jay: "Man, who the fuck steals monkeys?"

Silent Bob: [Points to Jay and himself]

Jay: "Oh yeah..."


Cheech: "Don't worry, man. Those aren't narcs, they're Las Emigras; you know, the Immigration Service looking for illegal aliens."

Chong: "What's the Immigration Service doing here, man?"

Cheech: "My cousin needed a ride to his brother's wedding in Tijuana; so he called the Emigras, man. They'll deport the entire wedding party, man. They get a free bus ride across the border and lunch. When the wedding is over, man, they'll just come back across the border."

Shaggy: "Let's vote on it. Mystery or pizza pie?"

Scooby Doo: "Rizza rie!"

The Dude: "What's in the fuckin' carrier?"

Walter: "Huh? Oh, that's Cynthia's dog. I think it's a Pomeranian. I can't leave him home alone or he eats the furniture. I'm watching him while Cynthia and Marty Ackerman are in Hawaii."

The Dude: "You brought the fuckin' Pomeranian bowling?"

Walter: "What do you mean brought it bowling, Dude? I didn't rent it shoes. I'm not buying it a fucking beer. He's not taking your fucking turn, Dude."

The Dude: "Man, if my fuckin' ex-wife asked me to take care of her fuckin' dog while she and her boyfriend went to Honolulu I'd tell her to go fuck herself."


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