11. Jesse and Chester
Chester: "How wasted were we last night?"
Jesse: "Well, I touched Christy Boner's hoo-hoo, were on the hook for two hundred thousand dollars to a transsexual stripper, and my car's gone. I'd say we were pretty wasted."
10. Silas and Jamal
Silas: "So, you trying to get something to bring your nerves down too, huh?"
Jamal: "Yeah. I figure if I study high, take the test high, get high scores! Right?"
Jamal and Silas: "Right..."
9. Bill S. Preston, Esquire and Ted
Ted: "Now your dad's going for it in your own room!"
Bill: "Shut up, Ted."
Ted: "Your stepmom is cute, though."
Bill: "Shut up, Ted!"
Ted: "Remember when I asked her to the prom?"
Bill: "SHUT UP, TED!"
8. Craig and Smokey
Craig: "What I'm trippin on, is how you gonna sell bud, when you smoke it?"
Smokey: "I don't know. That's my only problem."
Craig: "Big Worm gonna fuck you up."
Smokey: "Big Worm ain't gonna do a goddamn thing, man."
Craig: "All right..."
7. Ted and John
Ted: "Oh hey listen, try this, I told my weed guy to step it up and he gave me that."
John: "What is this?"
Ted: "It's called 'Mind Rape', it's actually pretty mellow."
John: "It doesn't sound very mellow."
Ted: "Well he only had three other batches: 'Gorilla Panic', 'They're Coming! They're Coming!' and something called 'This Is Permanent'... Go on, spark it up!"
6. Kumar and Harold
Harold: "I am so hungry. I'm gonna eat, like, 20 of those burgers, man."
Kumar: "Dude, fuckin' I will see your 20 burgers and raise you 5 orders of fries."
5. Saul and Dale
Dale: "Even if he found that roach, how could he find us?"
Saul: "Um... heat-seeking missiles... bloodhounds... and foxes... barracudas..."
Dale: "I'm just - I'm kind of flabbergasted when you say things like that. It's weird."
Saul: "Thank you."
Dale: "Not a compliment."
4. Jay and Silent Bob
Jay: "Man, who the fuck steals monkeys?"
Silent Bob: [Points to Jay and himself]
Jay: "Oh yeah..."
3. Chong and Cheech
Cheech: "Don't worry, man. Those aren't narcs, they're Las Emigras; you know, the Immigration Service looking for illegal aliens."
Chong: "What's the Immigration Service doing here, man?"
Cheech: "My cousin needed a ride to his brother's wedding in Tijuana; so he called the Emigras, man. They'll deport the entire wedding party, man. They get a free bus ride across the border and lunch. When the wedding is over, man, they'll just come back across the border."
2. Shaggy and Scooby Doo
Shaggy: "Let's vote on it. Mystery or pizza pie?"
Scooby Doo: "Rizza rie!"
1. Walter and The Dude
The Dude: "What's in the fuckin' carrier?"
Walter: "Huh? Oh, that's Cynthia's dog. I think it's a Pomeranian. I can't leave him home alone or he eats the furniture. I'm watching him while Cynthia and Marty Ackerman are in Hawaii."
The Dude: "You brought the fuckin' Pomeranian bowling?"
Walter: "What do you mean brought it bowling, Dude? I didn't rent it shoes. I'm not buying it a fucking beer. He's not taking your fucking turn, Dude."
The Dude: "Man, if my fuckin' ex-wife asked me to take care of her fuckin' dog while she and her boyfriend went to Honolulu I'd tell her to go fuck herself."