Familial relationships can get tricky when it comes to inheritance money, especially because not everyone get's the cut they feel they deserve. But, is losing a significant relationship worth a financially abundant future?
Well, that's the question being presented by a woman who received a $700,000 inheritance from her late aunt that her mother is now demanding she give to her so that she can "invest in the family."
Here's the dilemma laid out in u/mymominerhitance's own words: "I'm in a complex family situation and could really use some judgment here to make sure I'm not going crazy. I'm a 26-year-old woman who recently found out that my great aunt, who was a professional poker player, left me $700,000 in her will. This sum is just a portion of a much larger estate."
"She's so against it that she's now saying I shouldn't accept the inheritance."
"What's more, she's hinted that she believes the money should go to her instead, arguing that she can put it to better use and 'sanitize' its origins by investing it in the family. Which sounds like total bullshit by the way."
"To give some more context, my mom is in her 50s and has always been vocal about her disapproval of my aunt's job. She sees this inheritance as not just unearned but morally tainted."
"I've suggested compromises, like donating a portion to charity, but my mom insists it's all or nothing. Either I refuse the entire inheritance or I'm acting against her wishes. It feels like a no-win situation where I'm being asked to choose between financial stability and my relationship with my mom, which is normally great."
"We are best friends, and this is really hurting me. So, am I the asshole for wanting to accept the inheritance, despite how it was earned and my mom's strong feelings on the matter?"
Well, people in the comments united to declare that the woman's mother was indeed being the asshole, and she should 100% keep the inheritance money, despite her mother's disapproval. User Puzzleheaded_Big3319 wrote: "You should definitely preserve your mom's precious morality by keeping that money far from her so she is never tainted by it. Not the asshole, but your mom is."
"Come on, you really don't see through her self serving bs?" user she_who_knits agreed. "Auntie left her nothing because she was rude and judgmental towards her."
Some moms called out the OP's mom for seemingly being selfish: "Money does weird things to people. As a mom, if my kid came into $700k, I'd be stoked. They could have a better start at life than I did. My best friend would also be stoked if I came into $700k. Her reaction is pretty telling."
U/chickenfightyourmom advised not allowing guilt to factor into the woman's decision about what to do with the inheritance: "The primary point here is: That money is not your mother's to have. Your aunt gave it to YOU. If your aunt wanted your mother to have an inheritance, she would have given her one."
"Do not let your mother guilt you over this. Accept the gift from your aunt, and invest it in you for your future. Get professional advice and be conservative because it won't go as far as you think. Yeah, you can clear your debt and invest in a modest home for yourself, but any leftovers need to be saved and invested for your future security. Don't fritter it away buying gifts or trips for family because you feel guilty. Make sure you put it in accounts where you are the sole owner, and don't give anyone an 'allowance,' either."
Others advised seeking out a lawyer to protect the inheritance: "Seek some legal advice because I get the feeling this is far from over."
