Content warning: This post contains mentions of suicide.
There's always going to be drama when money is involved. Recently, I came across a Reddit story by a woman who dated a man for 20 years, and left the relationship after he cheated. Fast-forward three years later, she gets a call that her ex-boyfriend died and left her his $700,000 estate, despite having a pregnant wife.
Here's the full story: "My ex and I were together for almost 20 years. We never got married because it never felt necessary, and we were child-free. I had problems with birth control, so he chose to get a vasectomy. I found out that he cheated on me three years ago, and I left him. He got with his adultering partner."
"Six months later, I heard that they were married. I found out that I was pregnant with my current boyfriend a year into dating, and even though we still weren’t 'there' in the relationship, we thought that we could make it happen. Sure enough, we are very happy, and we love our little family very much."
"My ex kept texting me on occasions like birthdays and holidays (I never answered), but when he heard about my daughter, he sent me a lengthy and hurtful text about me cheating on him, and he never texted me again (I never answered)."
"I was contacted by a solicitor to tell me that I have inherited my ex’s estate. He had left everything to me besides some to his parents' pension and his nephew. I got a letter from him apologizing for what he did and saying that he loved me and wished me and my family happiness, and he wanted to help with that."
"Now, his wife and parents are very angry and demand that I leave them everything. I don’t know. Would I be the asshole if I kept it because that is what I want actually? And what he wanted."
As you can probably guess, Reddit users had A LOT of opinions on this one. The majority consensus was that the woman was NOT the asshole for keeping the money for herself, with one user writing:
"Not the asshole. A gift freely given is yours to keep."
Agreeing, another user felt that the money was a way to honor the past relationship:
"Not the asshole. I think he passed with regrets and wanted to make it right. And I have a feeling he knew his unborn child is not his, and finding out you moved on was a tipping point. He left that money to you on his own accord for a reason. And I would press for a DNA test if his wife contests the will. He was with you 20 years and chose to honor that time together."
Another user felt that sharing the money would be rewarding her ex's wife for her role in the cheating that ended the initial 20-year relationship:
"Not the asshole. Fundamentally, a person who engages in an affair should not stand to profit down the line. The adultery partner played a role in the end of your 20-year relationship, and you should not have to reward that person in any way. Keep the gift and enjoy your life."
"Flip the script, they would give you nothing. Up to you if you want to keep it or ration it out. People get really weird about inheritance money and will actively destroy their own families over jealousy and such," another user wrote.
And finally, user Level-Experience9194 advised potentially sharing some of the money with the unborn child if it turns out to be the ex-boyfriend's child:
"It sounds like he knew he'd been cheated on. As others have said, get a lawyer and a paternity test before you make any decisions. If you do decide to give the child any money, do so via a trust."