Financial disagreements can be the nail in the coffin for any relationship, but romantic relationships can get really tricky when it comes to buying a home.
Recently, I came across a Reddit story from a first-time homeowner asking for advice. A couple is planning to move into their first home together and one partner has agreed to purchase the home under their own name, while their girlfriend has agreed to pay all "other expenses." Well, the girlfriend is now demanding that her name be added to the house title, even though she won't be contributing to the mortgage.
Here's the full story in u/Ok_Egg_8255's words: "We had already agreed that we would live together after both of our leases end in March. In the agreement, I would pay for housing and she would 'pay for everything else.' We’ve decided that me purchasing a home is a better route than throwing away stupid amounts of rent in a high-cost-of-living area."
"I got pre-approved last week and now she’s demanding that she be on the title."
"I have told her that if/when we get married, then I’ll gladly add her to the deed. In the meantime, she gets to save a ton of money. I estimate the 'everything else' will be near $1,000/month, which is half what she’s paying for rent currently. Am I being unreasonable?"
Well, Redditors sprinted to the comment section to warn u/Ok_Egg_8255, with one writing: "Hell no. Don’t do it."
"Take 10 minutes to Google search horror stories of couples buying homes without being married. DO NOT DO THIS."
This user felt that the girlfriend should only be added to the deed if they get married:
"Nope, that's not a girlfriend thing, that's a legal wife 'to death do us part' thing. If she's serious about it, then the two of you need to start having the marriage conversation."
—Z0ooool
Agreeing, another user wrote: "I’d suggest not doing it, I’ve known a few people who went this route. And those few times the relationship didn’t end well."
"I had a coworker, who bought during the height of the bubble in 2006 with his girlfriend at the time. Then the crash happened and they were no longer in a relationship and he moved out. She wouldn’t sell the house, and by the time she was willing to no one was buying, or would buy it for what they paid by 2009. Last I heard, he barely just got out of that house a year or so ago. By that point, he was married with another girl and had two kids. It really took a toll on him though."
—JTluckenbirds
User u/kilajule suggested a slight compromise: "I wouldn’t add her to the deed, but I would also make sure that the 'everything else' does not include home maintenance or repairs."
"As with every house, you will find something that needs to be fixed after you move in and start living there. As the owner, that would be your responsibility. I don’t think you need to add her to the deed, but do talk about the cost burden associated with home ownership, because if that falls in 'everything else,' I can see why she is concerned."
And finally, another user saw the situation from the girlfriend's perspective: "It's not the smart thing for you to do financially, but from her perspective, it's also not financially smart to contribute to the equity of a home without having an interest in that equity."
"I certainly wouldn't put her on the deed, but if I were you, it would be fair to work out a separate contract as to what she's entitled to should you split. I would think it wouldn't be very much at first, but it should be something, and it should increase based upon your time together."
—DarkPumperknickel