1. DO respect gas equality
When it comes to gas, everybody has it. If you guys are going to belch loudly after a meal or let one off under the sheets then don’t become surprised or offended when we do it too.
2. DON’T mind Mrs Prickles
Remember that we’re not all glamour models. When it comes to shaving there will be mid cycle prickles and our lady garden may resemble a hedgehog.
3. DON’T compare us with other women
Variety is the spice of life. When it comes to the female body, we’re all different.
4. DO buy us flowers
At the risk of infuriating feminists, most of us will gladly accept token gifts like flowers or chocolates. If you surprise us with either, your luck may be in.
5. DON’T “like” other womens photos
It will end badly…
6. DON’T scratch your balls in public
It’s never a good look! Can you imagine what YOU would think if we went around with our hands up our skirts going for gold?
7. DO wash your hair
Shampoo isn’t just for women!
8. DON’T say you find another woman attractive
This is a red hot danger zone right here. You know that colleague with the big boobs and short skirt…say she’s not your type! Acknowledging another woman’s beauty will get you nowhere in a relationship!
9. DO write slushy messages
Try and write something other than “To **** Love me” inside greetings cards. We like a bit of mush and to feel loved!
10. DO look where you’re aiming
Oh and if you sprinkle when you tinkle.. please be sweet and wipe the damn seat. Or floor…or walls…. How the heck do you manage to make such a mess anyway??
11. DON’T tell us about your poop
There’s some things we don’t need to know when we’re eating our breakfast.
12. DO play with our hair
Better than sex!
13. DO avoid us when it’s the time of the month
Our hormones will have us crying one minute and roaring the next. There’s nothing you can do right, but I can guarantee that we will find something you do wrong.
14. DO give us a massage without expecting sex
Sometimes it’s nice to be pampered without having to give something back..
15. DON’T blow raspberries in certain areas
Unless you want to be kicked in the head.
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