A Guide On How To Keep Women Happy (Yes It Is Possible)

We women are hard creatures to understand, so this is a list of Do's and Don'ts for the helpless male specimens.

1. DO respect gas equality

When it comes to gas, everybody has it. If you guys are going to belch loudly after a meal or let one off under the sheets then don't become surprised or offended when we do it too.

2. DON'T mind Mrs Prickles

Remember that we're not all glamour models. When it comes to shaving there will be mid cycle prickles and our lady garden may resemble a hedgehog.

3. DON'T compare us with other women

Variety is the spice of life. When it comes to the female body, we're all different.

4. DO buy us flowers

At the risk of infuriating feminists, most of us will gladly accept token gifts like flowers or chocolates. If you surprise us with either, your luck may be in.

5. DON'T "like" other womens photos

It will end badly...

6. DON'T scratch your balls in public

It's never a good look! Can you imagine what YOU would think if we went around with our hands up our skirts going for gold?

7. DO wash your hair

Shampoo isn't just for women!

8. DON'T say you find another woman attractive

This is a red hot danger zone right here. You know that colleague with the big boobs and short skirt...say she's not your type! Acknowledging another woman's beauty will get you nowhere in a relationship!

9. DO write slushy messages

Try and write something other than "To **** Love me" inside greetings cards. We like a bit of mush and to feel loved!

10. DO look where you're aiming

Oh and if you sprinkle when you tinkle.. please be sweet and wipe the damn seat. Or floor...or walls.... How the heck do you manage to make such a mess anyway??

11. DON'T tell us about your poop

There's some things we don't need to know when we're eating our breakfast.

12. DO play with our hair

Better than sex!

13. DO avoid us when it's the time of the month

Our hormones will have us crying one minute and roaring the next. There's nothing you can do right, but I can guarantee that we will find something you do wrong.

14. DO give us a massage without expecting sex

Sometimes it's nice to be pampered without having to give something back..

15. DON'T blow raspberries in certain areas

Unless you want to be kicked in the head.