A Super Bowl Quiz By Someone Who Knows Nothing About Football

His middle school notebook was covered with “Mr. Rob Phanatic.”

Don’t ask him how because he’ll just say it's "so obvious” and shake his head disapprovingly.

Saltines with margarine are a close second.

They weren’t selling it. He just found it in a box in the back marked “y2k prep kit.”

Just look at them. They scream to be adopted and renamed something cutesy like Muffins or Queen Lashtifa.

It was at a Sears Outlet, and he hasn’t been back since.

Everywhere you look, everywhere there’s a reminder of this beautiful family.

Bonus Fun Fact: Belichick can ONLY fart in elevators. So, this was kind of a trick question! Sry!!!

They give surprisingly good support.

You can't hide from your part in Legally Blonde forever.

And dance until you prove to me that you also deserve to be named James Brown.

And he just needs to accept that.

It's because of a curse put on him by a witch, and he doesn’t like to talk about it.

He thinks it's an off-brand Ex-Lax.

Not to be confused with his brother, J.RRTolkien Sweezy.

But he's probably a robot.

That pom pom really does suit you.