Community Contributor

BuzzFeed

Alcohol is a big part of life.

You drink to forget, you drink to have fun and you drink to do both when you realize you'll never pay off your student loans. But every drinker is different, who much like the Seven Dwarfs in Snow White, all serve a unique and special purpose...

Which Seven Dwarf Of Drinking Are You?

What's Your Favorite Alcoholic Drink?

What's Your Ideal Night of Partying?

When Do You Stop Drinking?

What is Your Favorite Disney Movie?

Which Disney Songs Accurately Describes Your Drinking?

Who's Your Drinking Buddy?

What's Your Go-To Drunk Snack?

Which Disney Villain Do You Sympathize With The Most?

You’re a mess. But a fun mess. It doesn’t take you too long to permanently confuse tables for just higher version of floors. You like drinking because it brings out the fun side of you, while simultaneously bringing out a terrifying display of dance moves that would petrify half of Hogwarts. There’s literally no way your body is still 70% water at this point in your life. You have fun every night but you wake up every morning to the Horror movie that is finding yourself tagged in 17 Facebook photos… and you’re only wearing pants in 9 of them. It takes you longer to get out of bed the next morning than it takes Nicki Minaj to squeeze into a pair of jeggings, but don’t worry, at least you got some laughs...

The Dopey Drunk

You’re the worst; similar to fat free cream cheese and sequels that spell “too” instead of “2.” Giving you a bottle of liquor is like giving your girlfriend of eight years a “free massage” coupon: someone’s going to get hurt. The worst part is that you don’t realize it. You don’t realize that you getting drunk is a worse idea than whatever Tyler Perry is currently typing away onto a used Macbook Pro. You’re a face tattoo, an eviction notice and herpes, in the sense that nobody ever wants you. Once you sober up, you’re the most pleasant person around, but when you’re drunk you are about as fun as a cold sore. If a cold sore used the B-word a lot and made more mistakes than Ryan Lochte trying to write his name in cursive.

The Grumpy Drunk

Calling you a drunk would be like calling Beyonce overrated, it’s simply not true.
AND IT WILL NEVER BE TRUE, MOM!
You’re more put together than a desk from Ikea. Unlike a pack of fraternity brothers or Michael Bay movies, you can have fun without overdoing it.. Everyone wants to be around you because they feel safe around you. You’re the one who puts the drunk ones to bed after making sure that one kid who tried to pee in your Grandfather’s Urn didn’t ruin the legacy of an extremely hardworking Irish-American. Everyone seems to like you and why wouldn’t they? You’re mature, mild-mannered and get in less people’s faces than adult onset acne. You dance like everybody’s watching and love like you’re only going to get hurt. When you say, “I’ll just have a couple beers,” you mean it because you know that if you didn’t, all of your friends would be dead, or even worse, getting their stomachs pumped.

The Doc

You’re not fun to be around, said the Support Group at Liars Anonymous. Start spreading the booze, because Drank Sinatra is in the house and he’s thirsty. Everybody loves when you’re drinking Vodka, your third favorite “Ka” after Pol and Hoo. Much like relaxed fit-jeans, nobody cuts loose like you. With each shot, all of your worries simply fade away, just like your chance at ever having a successful career someday. Sure, tomorrow’s hangover will make you seem about as fun as Grandma was when she got a little too racist at Thanksgiving Dinner, but tonight, you’re living it up (while you constantly fall down).

The Happy Drunk

You’re shy. It’s fine, so were most serial killers. But you don’t kill people, unless people is code for “vibes.” You’re just not the life of the party. You prefer to stand in the corner all night nursing a beer, because, for you, parties are scarier than confusing someone else’s leg for a part of the table. Most people will assume your bashfulness is your way of playing hard to get. Well, they’re more wrong than those Watermelon flavored Oreos. The truth is that you’re just not a lot of fun so you pretend to have fun by sipping on a cup of jungle juice for 2 hours, all while trying to feel something other than bottomless desperation. You’ll walk home at night with a horrible feeling, like you just watched the series finale of Dexter, because you realize that if you weren’t there, everyone else would have had the exact same amount of fun.

The Bashful Drunk

You’re sick. No, not like “Team X-Bladz from Brink” sick, but like… physically ill. You ditched the Tylenol for a bottle of Whiskey because who really needs an immune system anyway? Who cares if you’re blasting germs left and right, it’s Thirsty Thursday. You need to get your drink on, even if you make people uncomfortable on a Slim-Fit Jeans Level.  
The silver-lining is at least you’ll feel better in the morning right? Wrong. You’re so wrong. Even Unsalted Butter is like… “you wrong, gurl.” Alcohol doesn’t cure your head cold and drinking Beer with a viral infection is like eating Chips without the Guac: Pointless.

The Sneezy Drunk

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it’s you falling asleep on the stairs with a drawing of a phallic object on your face. Congratulations, the party started at 9 and you fell asleep at 10. Good for you, Captain Awful. God, you’re so terrible that people confuse you with a 10-liked Instagram. Look, it’s not your fault, except that it’s completely and entirely your fault. You pre-gamed the pre-gamed and then post-gamed your game, which is the worst series of things to happen after Season’s 1 and 2 of Two Broke Girls. Just don’t panic when you wake up on a stranger’s sofa with more vomit on your shirt than 80% of the outfits on Ke$ha’s Animal tour.

The Sleepy Drunk

About BuzzFeed Community

Community Brand Guidelines

BuzzFeed Community

Sorry, this content is <i>no longer</i> supported.

BuzzFeed Community Guidelines

BuzzFeed Community Leaderboard

BuzzFeed News has breaking stories and original reporting on politics, world news, social media, viral trends, health, science, technology, entertainment, and LGBTQ issues.

All the best animals on the internet. The snuggle is real.

BuzzFeed has breaking news, vital journalism, quizzes, videos, celeb news, Tasty food videos, recipes, DIY hacks, and all the trending buzz you’ll want to share with your friends. Copyright BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved.

BuzzFeed News | Breaking News | Original Reporting | News Analysis

Animal Pictures and Videos - Adorably from BuzzFeed

Name

Thanks for subscribing!

Stay up to date with our latest BuzzFeed video. Enter your email to subscribe!

Oops! Upload an image or add text to submit.

BuzzFeed has the hottest, most social content on the web. We feature breaking buzz and the kinds of things you'd want to pass along to your friends.

Which Seven Dwarf Of Drinking Are You?

Share This Article