I can't stop trolling BuzzFeed. But I hate myself for it.
1. It's 11:06pm and I am scrolling Buzzfeed.
2. Again.
3. I continue to hit "More Stories" because the crap I have already wasted time with isn't really satisfying. Or any good.
4. "Which (blank) are YOU?" Quizzes.
5. The fact that "Which (blank) are YOU?" quizzes have spread like a cholera outbreak.
(Where did these start and why is everyone on Facebook plagued with literary diarrhea?)
6. The fact that I've taken one of these quizzes.
7. 17. I've taken 17 of these quizzes.
8. Buzzfeed continues to post actual news on its site, thus duping it's readership into thinking they're not totally wasting their time and it's actual news.
9. Lists.
10. Sponsored lists.
11. The "Shocking little known thing that is killing your family is the most important thing you will read in your life."
12. .Gifs that aren't funny.
13. .Gifs that don't make any sense.
14. What is a .gif?
15. Space wasting list entries just to extend a list.
16. The terror of a truly horrific post you couldn't stop reading.
http://www.buzzfeed.com/ariannarebolini/truly-upsetting-vintage-recipes
17. That my 90's dreamboat was Mark-Paul Gosselear, my hidden talent is painting, I am a diplomat, my sex toy is the whip, my drink is whiskey on the rocks, and my IQ is 120.
18. 42 Signs that BuzzFeed and it's kin are actually consuming your brain matter.
19. 60% of the quizzes/lists read like lazy fan-fiction.
20. There are people that read BuzzFeed non-ironically and even as a credible news source.
21. 12 reasons Syria isn't a big deal so it's ok to keep up with the Kardashians.
22. The fact that buzzfeed is only a half a degree lower on the food chain than broadcast news.
23. The fact that FOX News still makes BuzzFeed look like the NewYork Times.
Extra Credit
6 more things I forgot to add:
1. Slide shows.
2. Hyperbole.
3. Histrionics
4. Sentimentality.
5. The generational ID stroke.
6.Cats.
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