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1. A piggy bank that'll hold exactly one penny — the extent of my massive personal fortune.
2. A dishwasher magnet if you need to be scared straight into cleaning your dirty plates, cups, and silverware.
3. A cozy sherpa cardigan so you can transform into a living breathing teddy bear.
4. A white puzzle for anyone who enjoys making things harder than they need to be. Good luck once you connect all the edge pieces!
5. A bottle of caffeinated water to help you beat your coffee dependency (seriously, I'm at like five cups a day) without the dreaded caffeine withdrawal headaches.
6. An AirPods watch band holder so there's less of a chance that your forgetful self will lose your very expensive earbuds.
7. A pair of split leg track pants if your fashion ethos is "comfy clothes I can sit around in all day but make it fashion."
8. A Darth Vader shower head to start each day with a new hope that it'll be better than yesterday.
9. A collection of kind of adorable and very creepy baby hand candles because you're an adult now and you can furnish your apartment however you see fit.
10. A cute, comfy, breathable tie dye sweater that'll keep you warm but not too warm if you live at the intersection of I'm always freezing street and I'm a sweaty beast avenue.
11. A finger yoga to keep your digits long and limber.
12. A set of Friends trivia coasters for the super fan who thinks they know everything there is to know about their favorite TV show. Well, this is "The One Where They Get Stumped."
13. A semi-sheer patterned blouse to leave you starry-eyed every time you see it hanging in your closet. (This is the perfect chance to show off your cute lace bras!)
14. A Baby Yoda PopSocket so you can use the force (but really just your PopSocket) to watch Netflix without your hands.
15. A box filled with cold weather goodies because you deserve to be pampered. Whip up a warming spicy hot cocoa (in your brand-new mug!) with the included mix and a wooden milk frother. Then, curl up in front of your laptop with your new pillow and a fuzzy throw so you can binge Love Is Blind.
16. An AllSaints leather jacket for when that sweet, sweet tax refund is deposited in your bank account and you're ready to achieve your final form as a full-grown adult with sophisticated outerwear.
17. A Jane Austen–themed lip balm because I'm pretty sure there's a line in Pride and Prejudice that reads, "It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single person in possession of chapped lips, must be in want of a moisturizing lip balm.”
18. A spooky poison apple bath bomb that'll leave you smelling like a not-so-scary cinnamon apple pie. 🤤
19. A chic patterned circle skirt if you need more pieces that can go from the office to drinks (or if you're just itching to shop).
20. An ocarina for fans of Zelda (and really anyone else who wants to learn to play a wind instrument). It also comes with a Zelda songbook!
21. A pack of Alice in Wonderland sticky notes that'll help you get all your ideas down on paper so you don't go down a rabbit hole when you should be getting work done.
22. A slinky slip dress because, gosh darn I'm so freaking sick of this winter weather. I just want to feel the sun on my skin!
23. And a pair of strappy sandals that'll help you manifest warm weather.
24. A cruelty-free lengthening mascara so your usually sad, stick-straight lashes actually hold a voluminous curl. It's lightweight, won't transfer, doesn't smudge, and lasts all day — what more could you ask for?
25. A mascara separator if you're not a fan of the clumpy-lashes look. The comb is curved so you can reach every itty bitty lash.
26. A pair of hoop earrings to make your heart skip a beat.
27. A mini pet tepee if you live to spoil your pet. All jokes aside, giving your dog or cat their own special place that makes them feel safe can help reduce their anxiety.
28. A pack of peel-and-stick constellation wallpaper so you can give your room a five-star makeover without spending a lot of money or time.
30. A Homesick candle for anyone who's missing the scent of home a little extra right now. *cries orange-scented tears because I miss Florida*
31. An clear eyebrow gel that'll hold each hair in place if you're cursed with perpetually unruly caterpillars above your eyes.
32. The Infectious Disease Coloring Book because you couldn't care less about coloring cat butts and curse words. Flesh-eating bacteria, on the other hand? Now I've got your attention.
33. A rechargeable hand warmer so your perpetually cold hands stay warm — this itty bitty bb is deceptively powerful and can reach 131 degrees Fahrenheit.
34. A box of pore-tightening, skin-lifting face masks to impress the beauty lover who's tried just about every face mask on the market. This one will 1. scare you because you look like a zombie 2. scare your roommate because you actually look like a zombie and 3. scare you again once you wash it off because it's so darn effective at reducing the appearance of wrinkles.
Inner me: Do I need this? Also inner me:
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