Lil’ Crane: A Lil’ Badass On The Scene

Can we call him Lil’ Creezy? Too far? Fine.

1. Meet Lil’ Crane.

He was born at the Paradise Zoo in England. They named him Little Crane but, like most legendary badasses, we all know that he goes by “lil’.” When he’s not snacking on mealworms Lil’ Crane’s been known to hit the sizzurp and go trollin for tail. His hero Lil’ Wayne once proclaimed “Don’t fuck with Wayne, cuz when it Waynes it pours.” Cra(y)ne has taken this philosophy to heart… if only he knew what it meant.

2. Lil’ Crane got some sweet kicks as a youngin’.

His toes were curled so zoo workers made these rockin’ booties that would help them to straighten out and enable him to walk. “I’m on the road to riches, it’s just a lil’ traffic,” he cried as they carefully wrapped his feet.

3. Lil’ Crane knows how to work.

Sure, he’s only 4.5 inches here, but when he’s full grown he’ll be OVER FOUR FEET TALL. Zoo keepers are somewhat confused as to why he keeps yelling “SIX FOOT SEVEN FOOT EIGHT FOOT” but they figure it’s just a phase.

4. “Excuse my charisma, vodka with a spritzer; swagger down pat, call my shit Patricia,” he said with an air of superiority.

I think it goes without saying that Lil’ Crane has a healthy self esteem already.

5. “Just like a refund I make her bring that ass back, and she bring that ass back, because I like that,” he told his caretaker.

The zoo worker realized that this was the time to bring up the concept of “kiss and tell” with Lil’ Crane. No one likes a braggart.

6. Creezy turned to his guardian, stating grandly: “I could probably do better, but probably’s like never.”

It was at that moment that the zoo keeper realized he was dealing with a madman.

7. Don’t let him cramp your style! Run, Creezy, Run!

Remember the words of your hero:
“And ima keep runnin’
ima keep runnin but i’m neva runnin outta money
ima dog ima stunt
if i don’t do nothin’
and my car so pretty all these hoes wanna f**k it”

On second thought, maybe you shouldn’t.

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