Come on, not everyone has time for the extended version.
WARNING: May ruin friendships forever.
In space, nobody can hear you scream, "bull$#*!"
Everything you knew about the 3rd grade was a LIE!
Ya'll can't complain about much after you've been through the mud!
LIES! LIES! LIES!
The famous quotes they didn't teach you in high school.
2014 is the space age, apparently.
You are not right-brained.
Keep it looking sharp at no cost.
You'd be surprised just what you can Watch Instantly.
The Dwarves are Jewish? Mazel tov!
You have the right to remain sexy!
What incredible irony!