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An email screen shows the different folders like inbox and trash. And a close up of Bruce from "Bruce Almighty" as he types on his laptop

Pretend To Be An Email In My Inbox And I'll Reveal How I Would Respond To You

Pretend To Be An Email In My Inbox To Reveal Your Fate

What's your favorite evening activity?

What do you put on your toast?

Out of these words, which is your favorite?

Do you know about Dr. Bees?

On what food would you most enjoy sesame seeds?

Capisci questa frase?

What color would you want the sky to be if it weren't blue?

Which item seems most pretentious to you?

Why did you take this quiz?

You know what? This is a mean result, since it's implicitly ( or maybe explicitly) saying you're unwanted or unimportant. It's a good thing that I don't delete emails. If you got this result, you either must be a scam or a Land's End catalogue update.

Ron Swanson takes his desktop computer and throws it into a dumpster

Moving straight to the trash tab

Yes. I see you. Are you lurking? No, not really. I know you're important, but I guess we're meeting at the wrong time. Are you pushy? No, but you're patient and willing to wait for what you want. It'll happen soon.

A close up of SpongeBob SquarePants as he smiles while sitting at his school desk

Looming in my "unread" section

You! Yes, you! You're too good to be true. You're the beautiful poem from the Paris Review mailing list that goes over my tired head. You're from a friend I haven't heard from in a long time that I don't want to reply to because I don't have the words yet nor do I want to let the chance to reply go. You're a little intimidating, but in an exciting, portentous way.

A close up of Agatha Harkness as she smiles and winks

Getting starred because, one day, I'll come back to you

Okay. You're straightforward. I appreciate this. You have quick solutions for the problems of others and know how to take care of yourself. I guess you're pretty no-nonsense, but not necessarily in a bad way...until the email replies get snappy. Just take a breath!

A man in a full suit sits at a typewriter as he says, "Tippy-tippy-tap"

Prompting a nice, timely response

I'm so sorry. You aren't forgettable, yet somehow I forgot about you. It's not your fault I haven't replied yet, that's on me. I promise I'll get back to you once this panic lifts!

A close up of Rachel Green as she hyperventilates into a paper bag

Creating panic

Yeah. I saw you. I know what you're about. Do I want to be part of it? Not this time. Nonetheless, you've got some important things going on in your life and have the potential to influence a lot of lives. Just because I don't appreciate you (NYT newsletter, financial info mailing lists, etc.) doesn't mean you don't have something to offer. Forget about me and the people who don't value you and move on to do good things.

Chris Redd sits next to Michael Che at the SNL Weekend Update desk as he says, "It's important, bruh"

Getting falsely (but intentionally) marked as read

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Pretend To Be An Email In My Inbox And I'll Reveal How I Would Respond To You

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