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Which Jess Are You?

Where would you like to go on a first date?

What are you listening to right now?

What would you like to drink?

What article of clothing could we catch you wearing?

What's your favorite food?

Who's your best friend? Choose wisely!

What is your favorite movie?

What's a hip catchphrase?

What do you do in your free time?

WYS...

As these mini monsters move on out we find that the reptile convention is the most fun place to learn and to get educated. They do not anthropomorphize nor do they inundate. Please come to the next reptile convention and support. These little mini monsters are straight from the heart.  
You're a small oaf.

Ancient Wooden Reptile Jess

Whoops! Looks like someone forgot their makeup!!! Some people might have trouble determining your gender.

Carl

Look out for that snowy hill!!! You spent your first two weeks at UMass on CRUTCHES! Better luck next time, loser!

Freshman Jess

Move over, Paris Hilton! This basic bitch CLAIMS she's not a cheerleader, but we can see right past that lie! Kick line? Dance team? Forget about it! This long-haired asshole is ready to party, and not afraid to show it!

Falconette Jess

You're just not ready to face the day alone! Take a good hard sniff of that cherished fabric, and go make yourself some oatmeal.

Blankie Jess

EVERYBODY GET DOWN ON THE FUCKING GROUND. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. GRAB YOUR ROSARIES AND GET FUCKED!!!!!

Bible School Lockdown Jess

Look out, kids!!! Don't tell your parents, but we'll be playing some \*rousing\* party games such as SPIN THE BOTTLE, GUESS MY WEIGHT, and MUD WRESTLING WITH MARJORIE. By the end of the night, you won't be very lonely anymore! ;)

Middle School Sleepover Jess

Recent WebMD searches include: "what do nodes look like" & "how do I know if I have nodes" ...yikes!

Paranoid Singer Jess

They're not cats. They're sweeties. "THEY'RE ALL SO SWEEEET, LITTLE SWEET KITTIES!!!!!" Nice.

Cat Lady Jess

Tea? Hiking? Whole Foods? YOGA? You can't decide which one you like more, you liberal hippie scumbag! #FeelTheBern

Organic Jess

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Which Jess Are You?

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