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25 Products From Germany You Had No Idea You Needed

Where have you been all our lives, Die Moderne Hausfrau.

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1. If you like reading in bed, but absolutely hate having to move your head for any reason, these lying lenses are exactly what you need:

2. And a little something for the romantic in you... the hug me pillow:

3. And do you want to treat your favorite plant with the respect it deserves? Invest in one of these bad boys:

4. Smart phone cases are so mainstream. The really cool kids are all carrying around sausage cases.

5. Someone get this guy a Nobel prize:

mischpoke_kluft / Via instagram.com

6. Might look like a fun toy... until you realize what it's for.

Let's just put it this way, "Taschen-WC" translates to "toilet bags."
tantesandydesign / Via instagram.com

Let's just put it this way, "Taschen-WC" translates to "toilet bags."

7. An astronaut's shower cap with a transparent window. Now you've seen everything.

8. Nope. Scratch that. Because you haven't seen the Pleasure Mole yet.

"Allow me to introduce myself. My name is PLEASURE MOLE."
blogade12.wordpress.com

"Allow me to introduce myself. My name is PLEASURE MOLE."

9. Finally, your grandpa can start sexting!

thefreelenser / Via instagram.com

10. Why go to church when you could just snag one of these?!

"Come celebrate the appearance of the Lord with us" in 3D technicolor!
wwwut.wordpress.com

"Come celebrate the appearance of the Lord with us" in 3D technicolor!

11. Upgrade to automatic everything!

This automatic timer outlet boasts that it's "better than manual operation" which is, like, true for pretty much everything?
schmarotzerhummel.blogspot.de

This automatic timer outlet boasts that it's "better than manual operation" which is, like, true for pretty much everything?

12. "In a crisis, a shot of humor can help!" What a shitty joke.

13. The "Drink Tote Boy"... for when lifting a carton of orange juice is just too strenuous.

irrnes / Via instagram.com

14. If you often find yourself on the toilet thinking, "Damn! Forgot my golf equipment again!" then I've got the perfect invention for you:

15. Or if you're a little more sporty, pass the time by working on your free throws:

16. Stick-on nipple flowers! Just what every woman needs.

17. Why use an ergonomic mouse when you can use this one that looks like a bar of gold and hurts to use!

"The safest investment? Enjoyment of life!" ... I guess!
blogade12.wordpress.com

"The safest investment? Enjoyment of life!" ... I guess!

18. Or just buy Enrico – he'll make you feel better!

"Please, please let Enrico dance!" Terrifying!
schmarotzerhummel.blogspot.de

"Please, please let Enrico dance!" Terrifying!

19. This one is apparently from their "artisanal" collection:

Just a reminder that "hand-made" doesn't always mean better!
blogade12.wordpress.com

Just a reminder that "hand-made" doesn't always mean better!

20. And then there's this is an extremely precious and rare collector's item:

21. "This nice boy will always be faithful to you!"

HEY! NO THANKS!
Twitter: @MmeSchnuerschuh

HEY! NO THANKS!

22. Anti-slip pads for your glasses. Okay... this one is actually a good idea.

23. "Safer than a machete!"

24. "Ladies love the Boot Boy." Sorry, gents.

25. "Mother-in-law shocker!"

Or really, anyone else too because it's shockingly dumb.
blogade12.wordpress.com

Or really, anyone else too because it's shockingly dumb.

This post was translated from German.

The best things at three price points