1. There's a wonderful store in Germany called 'Tchibo' and it's the best. It sells the kind of stuff that absolutely nobody wants or needs. Here are some of those things:
2. Who needs this, Tchibo?
3. You're pioneers, but you're ahead of your time.
4. Tell me why anyone would need to see their toilet paper better at night.
5. Ah yes, because bananas are so hard to slice with a knife.
6. I have no idea what this does, and I feel really uncomfortable looking at it.
7. Excuse me?
8. This is a lifesaver. What would I do without it? I mean, aside from just wiping the crumbs up with a cloth.
9. Why do kiwis need a special travel container?
10. I'd worry that it'd become TOO intelligent and rise up against me.
11. Maybe someone would find this useful, but I can't imagine who.
12. In case you get bored while you're deep sea diving:
13. WHAT. IS. GOING. ON. HERE???
14. If you're making enough dumplings that this is useful, you're making too many dumplings.
15. My butter is fine unstamped, thanks.
16. Seems like more trouble than it's worth. Aren't new wipers like $10?
17. Great! Now I can flip my hat around in the rain and have a wet-ass hat on my head. That's ideal!
18. What's your other hand up to?
19. Make your sit-ups half as effective with just twice the neck pain!
20. Okay, this one actually seems useful. Forget what I said about Tchibo. I get it now.
This post was translated from German.