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Here's Everything You Missed On "MKR" This Week

Once more with feeling.

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Look, just on a personal note for the three of you that read these (hi Mum!), this is my last recap. I love you, you're all 10/10 dishes.

That being said, LET'S GET CRACKING.

1. Someone said "Beetlejuice" three times, so Josh appeared on the boat alongside #PoorAmy to take on the screamin' sisters, Kelsey and Amanda, in the cruise ship sudden death.

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2. Anyway, Josh immediately got stuck into making sweet, sweet love to a fish.

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3. Meanwhile the sisters were having an intense conversation about... literally anything.

THEY TALK SO MUCH. And that's coming from ME, someone who got told to be quiet 15 minutes into a three-hour road trip!!! (You knew what you were getting yourself into, James.)
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THEY TALK SO MUCH. And that's coming from ME, someone who got told to be quiet 15 minutes into a three-hour road trip!!! (You knew what you were getting yourself into, James.)

4. Josh and Amy got right back to their uncomfortable ways, constantly bickering with each other. It was, as always, super awkward.

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5. Big Boy Joshy then sprayed the whole kitchen down with his shit-talking, you know, for something new and different.

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6. The judges and other teams were all seated in the dining room from the Titanic.

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7. Much to literally everyone's surprise, Josh and Amy actually SUCCESSFULLY COOKED SEAFOOD. FOR THE FIRST TIME.

Their soft-shell crab was apparently great. Damn.
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Their soft-shell crab was apparently great. Damn.

8. After the sisters had a bit of an entrée mishap, we were treated to an incredibly rare sight:

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9. Unfortunately for us, Seafood King and Amy were doing pretty well - even though they were still being absolute dicks to each other.

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10. By the dessert round, the sisters' spirits were pretty broken, and it was awful.

Kelsey and Amanda were loud, but always lovely, and their food was usually at a high standard! Sadly, they only scored 26/60 while Josh and Amy scraped by with a total of 28/60.
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Kelsey and Amanda were loud, but always lovely, and their food was usually at a high standard!

Sadly, they only scored 26/60 while Josh and Amy scraped by with a total of 28/60.

11. Next was the SAUCE CHALLENGE! Teams had to make a sauce, and the winning one would be sold in stores. The guest judge for this challenge was Curtis Stone. Take it away, Thirsty Mama Val:

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12. Josh made a big fuckin' deal about cooking with chicken.

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13. Mell and Cyn faced a challenge early on, as they found out they were going to be cooking in a Coles.

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14. We got a brief insight into Tim and Kyle's friendship.

THAT WAS A REAL QUOTE.
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THAT WAS A REAL QUOTE.

15. Amy and Tyson were wearing their hats backwards and, guys I'm sorry, but I love these two so much.

WHY IS THIS SO FUNNY/CUTE TO ME???? LOOK AT THEM IN THEIR HATS!!! I love them.
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WHY IS THIS SO FUNNY/CUTE TO ME???? LOOK AT THEM IN THEIR HATS!!! I love them.

16. Josh and Amy had some tortilla troubles.

ZING.
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ZING.

17. Married heterosexuals Brett and Marie are still in the competition.

Lmao.
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Lmao.

18. While Curtis visited Josh and Amy's station he noticed their chicken was pretty much done. Josh was like "nah" and kept cooking it. TURNS OUT THEIR CHICKEN WAS OVERCOOKED LMAO.

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19. My legendary faves, Thirsty Mama Val and Courtney, won the sauce challenge.

Queen Mother.
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Queen Mother.

20. Unfortunately, Court and Duncan and Mell and Cyn were the two teams who were sent to the next sudden death cook-off.

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21. Mell and Cyn decided to cook risotto which has been referred to as "the dish of death" because EVERYONE FUCKS IT UP.

Everyone fucks it up.
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Everyone fucks it up.

22. While the teams cooked, Josh stood on the sidelines running his big, beautiful fish mouth.

Remember how he believes he's in a feud with Court and Duncan, but in reality Court and Duncan just think he's a dickhead like LITERALLY EVERYONE ELSE ON THE PLANET? Well, Big Boy Joshy wouldn't shut up and everyone got sick of his shit...
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Remember how he believes he's in a feud with Court and Duncan, but in reality Court and Duncan just think he's a dickhead like LITERALLY EVERYONE ELSE ON THE PLANET? Well, Big Boy Joshy wouldn't shut up and everyone got sick of his shit...

...INCLUDING HIS WIFE.

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POOR AMY.

23. Mell and Cyn's main was a steak with TEMPURA OYSTERS. AKA lightly-fried snot.

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24. Mell and Cyn's dessert hit a few bumps. Luckily, married whatshername had some really great wisdom to share.

Sure thing mate.
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Sure thing mate.

25. While Court and Duncan struggled with plating their desserts, Big Brave Joshypants was still harping on from the sidelines.

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26. The desserts weren't as bad as both teams feared, but Court and Duncan were victorious. Mell and Cyn scored 34/60, while the happy hipsters nabbed a whopping 50/60!

It was sad to see the busy business women go, they were brilliant competitors who hated everyone else on the show and I loved them for it.
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It was sad to see the busy business women go, they were brilliant competitors who hated everyone else on the show and I loved them for it.

27. Also look at this comparison of scores from Court and Duncan and their Seafood King nemesis from the week's sudden death rounds.

Here's hoping Joshy has to put his money where his fish is (his mouth).
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Here's hoping Joshy has to put his money where his fish is (his mouth).

28. Next, the teams went to "eat street" which was just a street where they had to cook out of shipping containers.

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29. Being in a random residential street seemed like an advantage for one of the teams, that's for sure.

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30. Josh and Amy's menu board made me laugh really hard.

A TASTE OF BROOME, WA!!! LAKSA???? THIS IS VERY FUNNY, YOU GUYS.
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A TASTE OF BROOME, WA!!! LAKSA???? THIS IS VERY FUNNY, YOU GUYS.

31. Over at the Anchor and Palm restaurant, David plated up his balls once again.

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32. Della and Tully struggled with a pot addiction:

OK just kidding, they struggled with only having a tiny oven and a shitload of pork.
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OK just kidding, they struggled with only having a tiny oven and a shitload of pork.

33. The Seafood King and his Queen struggled to find diners to sit at their restaurant.

I guess you could say these two lacksa charm.
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I guess you could say these two lacksa charm.

34. The married heterosexuals ran into a bit of trouble with their beef cheeks. If you listened carefully, I'm pretty sure you could hear one of the producers saying, "are those two part of the show? Do they just live on this street?"

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35. Josh and Amy's Laksa (a taste of Broome, WA!) was apparently great. Ugh. That might have something to do with Josh not being allowed in the kitchen.

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36. Despite all that, Tim and Kyle were the people's choice for the day, making them the big winners.

Sadly for the footy friends, Mark and Chris, they will be returning to Kitchen HQ to face the married heterosexuals for a sudden death cook-off next week.
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Sadly for the footy friends, Mark and Chris, they will be returning to Kitchen HQ to face the married heterosexuals for a sudden death cook-off next week.

Coming soon the teams will all get together for SUPER instant restaurants. But this is me done and dusted, so from me and my queen, Mama Val:

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XOXHO.