Look, just on a personal note for the three of you that read these (hi Mum!), this is my last recap. I love you, you're all 10/10 dishes.
That being said, LET'S GET CRACKING.
1.Someone said "Beetlejuice" three times, so Josh appeared on the boat alongside #PoorAmy to take on the screamin' sisters, Kelsey and Amanda, in the cruise ship sudden death.
2.Anyway, Josh immediately got stuck into making sweet, sweet love to a fish.
3.Meanwhile the sisters were having an intense conversation about... literally anything.
4.Josh and Amy got right back to their uncomfortable ways, constantly bickering with each other. It was, as always, super awkward.
5.Big Boy Joshy then sprayed the whole kitchen down with his shit-talking, you know, for something new and different.
6.The judges and other teams were all seated in the dining room from the Titanic.
7.Much to literally everyone's surprise, Josh and Amy actually SUCCESSFULLY COOKED SEAFOOD. FOR THE FIRST TIME.
8.After the sisters had a bit of an entrée mishap, we were treated to an incredibly rare sight:
9.Unfortunately for us, Seafood King and Amy were doing pretty well - even though they were still being absolute dicks to each other.
10.By the dessert round, the sisters' spirits were pretty broken, and it was awful.
11.Next was the SAUCE CHALLENGE! Teams had to make a sauce, and the winning one would be sold in stores. The guest judge for this challenge was Curtis Stone. Take it away, Thirsty Mama Val:
12.Josh made a big fuckin' deal about cooking with chicken.
13.Mell and Cyn faced a challenge early on, as they found out they were going to be cooking in a Coles.
14.We got a brief insight into Tim and Kyle's friendship.
15.Amy and Tyson were wearing their hats backwards and, guys I'm sorry, but I love these two so much.
16.Josh and Amy had some tortilla troubles.
17.Married heterosexuals Brett and Marie are still in the competition.
18.While Curtis visited Josh and Amy's station he noticed their chicken was pretty much done. Josh was like "nah" and kept cooking it. TURNS OUT THEIR CHICKEN WAS OVERCOOKED LMAO.
19.My legendary faves, Thirsty Mama Val and Courtney, won the sauce challenge.
20.Unfortunately, Court and Duncan and Mell and Cyn were the two teams who were sent to the next sudden death cook-off.
21.Mell and Cyn decided to cook risotto which has been referred to as "the dish of death" because EVERYONE FUCKS IT UP.
22.While the teams cooked, Josh stood on the sidelines running his big, beautiful fish mouth.
...INCLUDING HIS WIFE.
23.Mell and Cyn's main was a steak with TEMPURA OYSTERS. AKA lightly-fried snot.
24.Mell and Cyn's dessert hit a few bumps. Luckily, married whatshername had some really great wisdom to share.
25.While Court and Duncan struggled with plating their desserts, Big Brave Joshypants was still harping on from the sidelines.
26.The desserts weren't as bad as both teams feared, but Court and Duncan were victorious. Mell and Cyn scored 34/60, while the happy hipsters nabbed a whopping 50/60!
27.Also look at this comparison of scores from Court and Duncan and their Seafood King nemesis from the week's sudden death rounds.
28.Next, the teams went to "eat street" which was just a street where they had to cook out of shipping containers.
29.Being in a random residential street seemed like an advantage for one of the teams, that's for sure.
30.Josh and Amy's menu board made me laugh really hard.
31.Over at the Anchor and Palm restaurant, David plated up his balls once again.
32.Della and Tully struggled with a pot addiction:
33.The Seafood King and his Queen struggled to find diners to sit at their restaurant.
34.The married heterosexuals ran into a bit of trouble with their beef cheeks. If you listened carefully, I'm pretty sure you could hear one of the producers saying, "are those two part of the show? Do they just live on this street?"
35.Josh and Amy's Laksa (a taste of Broome, WA!) was apparently great. Ugh. That might have something to do with Josh not being allowed in the kitchen.
36.Despite all that, Tim and Kyle were the people's choice for the day, making them the big winners.
Coming soon the teams will all get together for SUPER instant restaurants. But this is me done and dusted, so from me and my queen, Mama Val: