back to top

13 Reasons Ian Thorpe Wins The Gold Medal Of Our Hearts

Thorpie might not love to rap, but he sure can freestyle.

Posted on

Ian Thorpe is 33 today, and we think that deserves some celebrating.

Here's Ian, a true-blue Aussie icon, handsome AF, standing in front of some bridge, I guess.
Matt King / Getty Images

Here's Ian, a true-blue Aussie icon, handsome AF, standing in front of some bridge, I guess.

1. Not only is Thorpie an Olympian, but he has won FIVE Olympic gold medals - the greatest total of any Aussie Olympian to date.

Chris Mcgrath / Getty Images
Getty Images
Getty Images

Those are quite literally gold medal pecs.

2. He's a true-blue Aussie legend.

Gold medals not enough for you? Thorpie was also awarded the Medal of the Order of Australia. And what a tall order it is.
Chris Mcgrath / Getty Images

Gold medals not enough for you? Thorpie was also awarded the Medal of the Order of Australia. And what a tall order it is.

3. He's also known as the Thorpedo...

...don't be filthy, it's because he swims incredibly fast. Like a glistening human rocket just shootin' through that water.
Quinn Rooney / Getty Images

...don't be filthy, it's because he swims incredibly fast. Like a glistening human rocket just shootin' through that water.

4. He can rock a towel cape. Look at him. Super Thorpie. Faster than a speeding bullet, and that's just the rate my heart is beating.

Chris Mcgrath / Getty Images

5. He still looks good even wearing goggles.

OGLE THOSE GOGGLES. Googles are not cute, but they work.
Chris Mcgrath / Getty Images

OGLE THOSE GOGGLES. Googles are not cute, but they work.

6. And sure he can rock a speedo, but look how good he is all dressed up.

Lisa Maree Williams / Getty Images

7. But also speedos.

God bless teeny tiny swimsuits. Bless 'em so much.
Adam Pretty / Getty Images

God bless teeny tiny swimsuits. Bless 'em so much.

8. The best thing about swimmers is that they're deependable.

Get it?! Deep end? Dependable?! Yeahhhhh swimmers jokes!
Quinn Rooney / Getty Images

Get it?! Deep end? Dependable?! Yeahhhhh swimmers jokes!

9. In 2002, Thorpie endorsed a line of unisex pearl necklaces.

Same tho.
Chris Mcgrath / Getty Images

Same tho.

10. In 2003 he launched an underwear line and was the main model for them too.

Look at that early '00s hair. Perfection.
Patrick Riviere / Getty Images

Look at that early '00s hair. Perfection.

11. And in 2004 he launched a range of energy water. Something to really quench that thirst.

Yet all signs point to it being unquenchable.
Quinn Rooney / Getty Images

Yet all signs point to it being unquenchable.

12. 10 minutes into 400m freestyle and chill and he gives you this look.

Quinn Rooney / Getty Images

13. Thorpie's armspan is like 190cm. THAT'S ALMOST TWO METRES LONG. A hug from Thorpie would be like a hug from 10,000 angels.

10,000 WET angels...
Chris Mcgrath / Getty Images

10,000 WET angels...

Happy Birthday, Thorpie, you giant stunner. ❤️🏊❤️

Matt King / Getty Images

Like BuzzFeed Oz on Facebook