1. There are some days where it's so cold you just have to put on a shirt.
2. Always forgetting to use your kama‘aina discount.
3. You don't know who your cousins are and who your actual cousins are.
This, of course, includes all your aunties.
4. That overwhelming urge to defend the miracle that is SPAM.
5. Giving/getting directions is always an adventure.
6. When shipping costs more than the total cost of the item you're shipping.
7. Baked vs. steamed.
8. Shave ice vs. your indecisiveness.
9. If it doesn't have rice, then it's not a real meal.
10. When you haven't been to the beach since yesterday...
11. ...and then can't decide which beach to go to.
12. That said, it is kind of hard to enjoy all of Hawaii's natural breathtaking beauty...
...when you're trapped in this all day.
13. Not to mention gas already costs an arm and a leg and your firstborn keiki.
14. When you can enter to win a free, seven-day, all expenses paid, VIP, luxury vacation for two to……...........................…….......…....….......….....Hawaii.
15. It can be off the air everywhere else, but here every week is "Shark Week."
16. When you have to call these guys for something...
17. There's no civilized way to eat a malasada...
...or a coco puff.
18. Anyone dressed in head-to-toe Jeans Warehouse.
19. The name of this product.
20. When one of these melts in your pocket.
21. That one Nicki Minaj verse.
22. Your throat will start tightening up and you'll begin salivating in 3, 2, 1...
23. These stairs are safe, right?
24. That Google Maps doesn't have an "Avoid Potholes" option.
25. Your favorite band will NEVER tour here. Ever.
26. When Obama won the presidency, you had to force yourself to be happy for someone from Punahou for the first time ever.
27. You're not sure who to trust: Dan Cooke or Guy Hagi?
Not that it really matters...
28. This thing called "Hawaiian" pizza.
29. You've gotten into serious debates over which Zippy's is the best Zippy's.
30. Your legit ID always gets a harder look on the mainland.
31. This question on Yahoo! Answers.
And let's not forget the classics like, "Do you still live in grass shacks?" and "What about electricity?"
32. When someone uses "Hawaiian" the same way they'd use "Californian" or "New Yorker."
33. When someone corrects the way you pronounce "karaoke" and "karate."
34. Or you're told you pronounce "Hawai‘i" funny.
35. But wait, honestly, though – do we really have an accent?
36. Even though your shoes don't have laces, leaving anybody's house is going to take an extra minute.
And for the last time...