12 New Catcalls To Add To Your Repertoire!

Fellas! If there's one thing the internet has taught us, it's that women (especially the female ones) love being randomly catcalled! On the street, at their jobs, safely within the confines of their homes - wherever! "Harrassment?" More like, "Her ass, man!" When "Hey baby" and "Smile, beautiful" lose their mojo, it's time to get creative. Woo the girl of your dreams with these killer lines, guaranteed* to get YOU laid!

1. "I know who really killed JonBenét Ramsey!"

Will we ever know the truth?

Girls everywhere just want closure on that whole mess. Maybe you've got the answers?

2. "You should smile less! Your dead tooth is really off-putting."

Ever heard of Invisalign?

Oral hygiene is important, people.

3. "I'd like to grab your giant breasts with my abnormally small hands!"

Just because your hands might be described as 'childlike' doesn't mean you can't get yourself a handful of sweet boobage.

This is called 'empowerment.' What woman doesn't want a body-positive compliment about her lady parts, combined with the mental image of your sweaty little sausage fingers awkwardly poking and prodding around her funbags?

4. "I have bees!!!"

Get your 'stinger' ready, if you know what I mean.

Do you have bees? A lot of them? Let her know! You'll be gettin' that honey in no time.

5. "Deja Entendu is kinda overrated!"

Sorry, Jesse Lacey. Concentrate on falling apart somewhere else, please.

Well? It is. I don't think anyone can argue against that. Girls like a man who's not afraid to go against the grain with his opinions on early-2000s emo classics. Be an individual, and stand up for yourself. Confidence is sexy.

6. "Nice shoes!"

Within the Seductive Arts community, this move is called 'The Tarantino.'

This is some next-level shit right here, boys. The thinking goes like this: she'll naturally want to look down to confirm that her shoe game is, in fact, on point. And when she looks back up... maybe she'll see your dick? Give it a try!

7. "Have you checked your brake pads lately?"

This is the kinda line that has real stopping power. Yeah, I went there.

Auto maintenance is super important. Let her know you're thinking of her well-being. Ask about the rotors while you're at it. Do they need to be machined?

8. "Please don't sleep with me. My dick's way too small for you."

Hopefully, time is on your side.

Reverse psychology, right?

9. "Damn girl, have you ever been to Switzerland?"

There's nothing neutral about your chances here!

Just ask. Maybe you'll find something in common!

"Why no, I haven't been to Switzerland." "Cool, me neither! Wanna bone?"

Works every time.

10. "Nice hair. Is it yours?"

What even is hair?

This is what we in the seductive arts refer to as 'negging.' Little backhanded compliments like these slowly eat away at her self-esteem, leading her to lower her standards until you start to look appealing. Women crave validation, so when you deny her, desperation is sure to follow.

11. "I'll take a medium number 6, with a Sprite, and a Junior Bacon Cheeseburger. What's your name?"

Bonus points if your name is Dave: just ask her if she wants a 'Dave's Double.'

This one's really effective if the girl you're after works at Wendy's. Does the girl you're after work at Wendy's? Their chicken nuggets are sooooo good. Tell her I said that.

12. "My dick just fell off!"

One word: spongebaths.

You should probably go to the hospital for that.

Nurses are pretty sexy, am I right?