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    A Startlingly Accurate Account of Tomorrow's iPad Event

    Tomorrow, Apple is announcing a new iPad. It will probably have an incredibly sharp, wonderful screen and be twice as fast as the iPad 2, with better cameras. And maybe, if we're lucky, it'll weigh a little less. Those are not absolute certainties. What is absolutely certain: "Apple will be heaving a dead goat off a truck for the vultures of the technology press to swoop in and feast on. And oh, how we will feast."

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