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33 Ways To Be The Most Mystifying Supermodel Ever According To Tyra Banks


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1. To start: Always be sure your audience is so bewildered by your personality, they'll never anticipate your next move...

Good. Very good. Very bewildering. Now let Tyra teach you her ways...

2. First off, the SMIZE is the most important weapon in your arsenal. NEVER FORGET: Smile with your ~eyes~

3. If the smize isn't enough, freely employ "the smooch." Sitting in front of well-arranged fruit accentuates this look.

4. Always act bewildered by yourself. If *you're* mystified... so is everyone else.

5. Your tongue is often your best accessory. Use seductively, and with vigor.

6. The rapid flick of your tongue is best accompanied by the the aggressive rubbing of your breasts.

7. Act with full control of your face, even when you have no actual control of your face.

8. Roar when necessary to assert your dominance as alpha female.

9. Consume food ravenously, but with grace and elegance.

10. Melodrama is your best friend and intimate lover.

11. Your emotions should seem 100% genuine and not at all fake or staged. BE REAL.

12. You can never duck-face too hard. You can never say "swag" too often.

13. Experiment with wardrobe. No look is too outrageous for Trya.

14. REMEMBER: Tongue = most important accessory.

15. Inspiration may pour over you at any minute. Let it happen. Let it consume you.

16. Exercise a healthy contempt for other humans, as they will never be as beautiful or powerful as you.

17. Tongue.

18. Every move should exude a sleek, sensuous allure.

19. Let your emotions flow through your face without any semblance of thought or control.

20. Release any and all inhibitions.

21. Swallow.

22. Every facial expression is a declaration of YOU.

23. If people don't believe you're insane, you're NOT doing it right...

24. Use dance as a way of expressing the depths of your personality.

25. When you require sustenance, ingest food as a vacuum consumes its prey.

26. Devour with poise and finesse.

27. When necessary, abandon all conventional human behavior and embrace your animalistic tendencies.

28. When you laugh, do so naturally and without pause.

29. Suppress bodily functions as gracefully as you can.

30. Never get too comfortable around Janice Dickinson.


32. And remember, you are Tyra...

33. And you're a supermodel queen.

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