1. Perhaps you, like Tom Daley, are a busy person. Perhaps you have things going on. Perhaps, in the course of the last three months, you’ve gotten distracted by life and forgotten that Tom Daley exists.
2. Well this is a much-needed, very important, extremely vital reality check for everyone suffering from this very concerning lapse in memory: TOM DALEY STILL EXISTS AND HE IS PERFECT.
3. In fact, he is quite arguably more perfect than ever, and his various skills have only multiplied since last we visited them.
6. Sassily walking into a room with an empty bottle of water and sunglasses and looking like he’s about to slap someone in the face.
7. Maintaining perfection while suspended in midair.
8. Making a stank face while wiping his glorious hair.
9. Jumping gloriously off of tall surfaces and plummeting into water.
10. Giving birth to a beautiful imaginary child in midair and nurturing it in a loving environment, full of love and care.
11. Getting caressed in the face by someone who is not me but should be me.
I’m sure she’s a nice lady. But last time I checked, she is not me.
12. Basically, since last we saw Tom Daley, his midair flips have grown in gloriousness by at least 300 to 500 percent.
- Donald Trump accused former Miss Universe Alicia Machado of being in a sex tape, calling her "disgusting." He's appeared in a softcore porn.
- The hair vitamins promoted by the Kardashians make "largely inaccurate" nutrient claims, according to lab tests.
- In a newly released video deposition, Trump implied he planned to call Mexicans "rapists" when he announced his presidential run.