19 Reasons Why Monkeys Are Jerks
Oh, you think they're awesome and cute 'cause they're just like us? Wrong. They're the worst.
Yes, some monkeys are cool and fashionable and famous.
Most monkeys are just stupid little jerks.
First off, they fool you into falling for their jerk tricks.
They make you look bad in pictures.
They steal from you when you're standing RIGHT THERE.
They don't like sharing nature.
They hate nice little kids.
They like sticking their jerk butts in your face.
And they like telling you to shove it.
They get drunk and hungover and expect you to take care of them.
Basically, they are OUT OF CONTROL.
They are selfish monsters.
They pick up bad habits from celebrities.
They don't even like their kids associating with children.
They hog the bathtub.
They mock you behind your back.
They don't follow the rules.
They're mean to other nice animals.
THEY FLING THEIR POOP.
And they're big fat jerks.
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