ATTENTION PEOPLE OF THE WORLD:
Cristinao Ronaldo, renowned soccer hunk, underwear model, and angelic Portuguese beauty, unveiled this giant and majestic picture of himself in underwear in Madrid today.
Sergio Perez / Reuters
And it's, like, REALLY big.
David Ramos / Getty Images for CR7
Like, 16 meters big. FIFTY-TWO FEET. Big enough to create a giant tent out of, under which you could live forever in peace and happiness.
Sergio Perez / Reuters
And it is a beautiful and magnificent work of art that belongs in the history books because it is so heavenly.
David Ramos / Getty Images for CR7
It's so big, his abs alone are probably like 25 feet long.
David Ramos / Getty Images for CR7
And his hips are like 20 feet long.
David Ramos / Getty Images for CR7
As evidence, I submit this closeup picture of real life Cristiano beneath his poster penis making a very happy face because he knows he's now part of history.
Sergio Perez / Reuters
And also this very detailed close-up of Cristiano's chiseled abs.
Sergio Perez / Reuters
And this very detailed picture of him standing next to his thigh hairs.
David Ramos / Getty Images for CR7
And a very important scale comparison between real life Cristiano in the corner and Godly Cristiano's thighs.
Sergio Perez / Reuters
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Basically, as the Eighth Wonder Of The World, this picture of Cristiano in his underwear will see over our lands for centuries.
Sergio Perez / Reuters
It will guard us and protect us with its beauty and grace.
Sergio Perez / Reuters
It will serve as a beacon of the ultimate hotness of mankind.
David Ramos / Getty Images for CR7
And will stand tall and proud next to the other wonders of the world for centuries and centuries.
David Ramos / Getty Images for CR7
PLEASE SIGN THE PETITION. FOR HISTORY.
David Ramos / Getty Images for CR7
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