Petition For This Giant Photo Of Cristiano Ronaldo In Underwear To Be The Eighth World Wonder

All hail the glorious bulge.

1. ATTENTION PEOPLE OF THE WORLD:

2. Cristinao Ronaldo, renowned soccer hunk, underwear model, and angelic Portuguese beauty, unveiled this giant and majestic picture of himself in underwear in Madrid today.

Sergio Perez / Reuters

3. And it’s, like, REALLY big.

David Ramos / Getty Images for CR7

4. Like, 16 meters big. FIFTY-TWO FEET. Big enough to create a giant tent out of, under which you could live forever in peace and happiness.

Sergio Perez / Reuters

5. And it is a beautiful and magnificent work of art that belongs in the history books because it is so heavenly.

David Ramos / Getty Images for CR7

6. It’s so big, his abs alone are probably like 25 feet long.

David Ramos / Getty Images for CR7

7. And his hips are like 20 feet long.

David Ramos / Getty Images for CR7

8. As evidence, I submit this closeup picture of real life Cristiano beneath his poster penis making a very happy face because he knows he’s now part of history.

Sergio Perez / Reuters

9. And also this very detailed close-up of Cristiano’s chiseled abs.

Sergio Perez / Reuters

10. And this very detailed picture of him standing next to his thigh hairs.

David Ramos / Getty Images for CR7

11. And a very important scale comparison between real life Cristiano in the corner and Godly Cristiano’s thighs.

Sergio Perez / Reuters

.

12. Basically, as the Eighth Wonder Of The World, this picture of Cristiano in his underwear will see over our lands for centuries.

Sergio Perez / Reuters

13. It will guard us and protect us with its beauty and grace.

Sergio Perez / Reuters

14. It will serve as a beacon of the ultimate hotness of mankind.

David Ramos / Getty Images for CR7

15. And will stand tall and proud next to the other wonders of the world for centuries and centuries.

David Ramos / Getty Images for CR7

16. PLEASE SIGN THE PETITION. FOR HISTORY.

David Ramos / Getty Images for CR7

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