1. Mrs. Doubtfire is the lovable tale of a funny dad who dresses up like an old lady to spend more time with his kids. Just fine, right?
2. Except NO, because Mrs. Doubtfire is actually a HORRIFYING story about a DERANGED father who disguises himself as an old woman to STALK his family.
And it is literally the most terrifying movie ever made.
3. So the main character is a master of disguises who is able to conceal himself behind a number of personalities.
4. RIGHTFULLY, he’s separated from his kids because he’s a frickin’ insane person.
5. And so NATURALLY…he goes to a horror shop to camouflage himself so as to stalk his children.
6. LET ME REPEAT: He gets his body physically altered TO STALK HIS FAMILY.
7. OH YEAH. And his disguise is literally the creepiest thing you can imagine that is also human form.
8. SERIOUSLY. THIS IS NOT A FRIENDLY OLD WOMAN. THIS IS A MONSTER.
9. And so he has to spend the rest of the movie secretly changing into an old woman in public bathroom stalls AND THAT’S SUPPOSED TO BE NORMAL TO US?
10. No. It’s NOT NORMAL. And neither is this scene where Robin Williams gets undressed while wearing his fat old-lady suit.
12. Because it’s probably the most disturbing thing ever filmed.
14. ESPECIALLY THE PART where he takes off his hair and PEELS OFF HIS FACE.
16. Just watch him squeeze his tiny hairy body into the body suit while two chubby boys look on from the window across the street.
17. And then there’s this horrifying scene where he smashes his face into a cake to maintain his disguise in front of the government worker whose job it is to detect his insanity.
18. AND SHE’S HORRIFIED, RIGHTFULLY SO.
19. BUT SHE BELIEVES HIS DISGUISE AND DOESN’T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT.
20. So Mrs. Doubtfire is free to go on, terrorizing his family, setting their kitchen on fire…
21. Like, literally, he sets his family’s kitchen ON FIRE.
Obviously, he’s a MASSIVE threat to himself and to others.
24. Oh, there’s also that creepy scene where his hairy leg is hanging out on the bus and the bus driver is like oddly into it.
25. BUT PROBABLY THE WEIRDEST PART is when he’s peeing in his Mrs. Doubtfire disguise and HIS SON WALKS IN ON HIM PEEING.
And obviously his son is like WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON.
26. AND THEN HE MAKES A SECRET PACT WITH HIS SON AND DAUGHTER NOT TO TELL ANYBODY THAT HE’S AN ACTUAL CRAZY PERSON. THIS IS SERIOUSLY SO FUCKED UP.
“Hey, kids, don’t tell your mom but I’ve been dressing up as an old woman to watch you all while you sleep.”
27. Oh, and then there’s that part where he’s sitting by the pool and a hot lady comes up and he checks her out while he’s dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire and the hot lady is like EW.
Yeah, that was weird.
28. And then he throws a lime at James Bond and pretends it’s a “run-by fruiting.”
Except it was actually him and also he’s fucking insane.
29. And then, of course, there’s even more of him changing in a public restroom…
32. And even more of him being a general monstrosity.
33. But probably the MOST FUCKED UP PART is when he puts cayenne pepper on James Bond’s shrimp even though he knows James Bond is allergic to pepper.
34. Like, he actually tried to MURDER this man.
35. And then, when he kinda realizes how much he’s fucked everything up, he’s like, “OH SHIT,” but it’s too late because everybody is mortified by him.
36. Even Matilda.
37. And then he tries to just peel off his face like everything is going to be OK.
38. But it’s not.
39. It’s NOT OK. Because you dressed up like AN OLD WOMAN AND YOU TERRIFIED YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY AND YOU’RE INSANE AND YOU SHOULD PROBABLY NEVER BE AROUND CHILDREN AGAIN.
40. Except in the end, they give him A FUCKING CHILDREN’S SHOW! Like, probably the ONE THING he should NOT be doing with his life.
41. IN CONCLUSION, I don’t know what kind of sick, twisted mind thought of this movie…but it’s basically the most horrific film ever produced.
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