For Everybody Who Is Uncontrollably Attracted To Arctic Monkeys’ Frontman Alex Turner

I want to run my fingers through his greasy hair.

1. For the unfamiliar, these lovely gentlemen are British indie rock band Arctic Monkeys.

2. And, for the still unfamiliar, the beautiful angel in the ripped white tee is frontman Alex Turner.

3. As you may have noticed, Alex is what some people* describe as “a total, absolute, Grade-A, certified babe.”

*Me. I describe him as that. It was me.

4. And his rock ‘n’ roll sexiness shall go undiscussed NO LONGER.

Kevin Winter / Getty Images for Clear Channel

5. First of all, look at these pants. These pants are operating at a perfect, glorious level of tightness. And the best part is: They are always like this. They never underperform. They are always at the top of their game.

Jason Merritt / Getty Images

6. As a result, Alex’s hip-rotating, thigh-gyrating movements are accentuated with every tight fiber.

Theo Wargo / Getty Images for Firefly Music Festival

7. Also, just. These thighs. With these pants. All of it.

Theo Wargo / Getty Images for Firefly Music Festival

Like, A+ thigh action happening here. Really commendable work.

8. Most importantly, his hair is quite possibly the work of actual angels, every slick strand falling perfectly into place.

 

9. He’s really just running with this whole greased-up look, and let’s be honest with ourselves, it is working.

It. Is. Working.

10. Of course, even before the whole greaser stage, he was a beautiful lanky sleeveless beauty.

 

11. And um, he can totally take his shirt off like someone who professionally takes shirts off. Like, for a living. Professional shirt remover.

 

12. And BEFORE THAT, he looked like this floppy haired adorable little elf.

Stefan Gosatti / Getty Images

13. But most importantly, he’s grown into this strikingly handsome beast.

Anthony Harvey / Getty Images

14. He has that suave kind of charm, the confidence that says, “Take off your pants” with only a glance, and you’re like “UM, yes. They’re off already. They are off. They are on the ground. Let’s do this.”

Kevin Winter / Getty Images for Radio.com

15. Basically his entire presence is a work of erotic art.

Kevin Winter / Getty Images for Clear Channel

16. His face says, “Look at me, look at these pouty lips, look at my beautiful skin, look at my boyish eyes.”

Another Man

17. His leather jacket and tight-jeans game is just all-around spot on.

Lars Baron / Getty Images

18. And he exudes what I like to call “ALL OF IT.” All of it. He’s got it. It’s just all there. Every last bit of it.

Theo Wargo / Getty Images for Orion Music + More

19. Also, he can fly. His sexiness literally lifts him from the Earth.

Theo Wargo / Getty Images for Orion Music

20. In conclusion, Alex Turner is a total complete package of smooth hunky greatness.

Mark Metcalfe / Getty Images

21. Thank you and God bless.

Kevin Winter / Getty Images for Clear Channel

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