Skip To Content

    For Everybody Who Is Uncontrollably Attracted To Arctic Monkeys' Frontman Alex Turner

    I want to run my fingers through his greasy hair.

    For the unfamiliar, these lovely gentlemen are British indie rock band Arctic Monkeys.

    And, for the still unfamiliar, the beautiful angel in the ripped white tee is frontman Alex Turner.

    As you may have noticed, Alex is what some people* describe as "a total, absolute, Grade-A, certified babe."

    And his rock 'n' roll sexiness shall go undiscussed NO LONGER.

    First of all, look at these pants. These pants are operating at a perfect, glorious level of tightness. And the best part is: They are always like this. They never underperform. They are always at the top of their game.

    As a result, Alex's hip-rotating, thigh-gyrating movements are accentuated with every tight fiber.

    Also, just. These thighs. With these pants. All of it.

    Most importantly, his hair is quite possibly the work of actual angels, every slick strand falling perfectly into place.

    He's really just running with this whole greased-up look, and let's be honest with ourselves, it is working.

    Of course, even before the whole greaser stage, he was a beautiful lanky sleeveless beauty.

    And um, he can totally take his shirt off like someone who professionally takes shirts off. Like, for a living. Professional shirt remover.

    And BEFORE THAT, he looked like this floppy haired adorable little elf.

    But most importantly, he's grown into this strikingly handsome beast.

    He has that suave kind of charm, the confidence that says, "Take off your pants" with only a glance, and you're like "UM, yes. They're off already. They are off. They are on the ground. Let's do this."

    Basically his entire presence is a work of erotic art.

    His face says, "Look at me, look at these pouty lips, look at my beautiful skin, look at my boyish eyes."

    His leather jacket and tight-jeans game is just all-around spot on.

    And he exudes what I like to call "ALL OF IT." All of it. He's got it. It's just all there. Every last bit of it.

    Also, he can fly. His sexiness literally lifts him from the Earth.

    In conclusion, Alex Turner is a total complete package of smooth hunky greatness.

    Thank you and God bless.