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For Everybody Who Is Uncontrollably Attracted To Arctic Monkeys' Frontman Alex Turner

I want to run my fingers through his greasy hair.

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First of all, look at these pants. These pants are operating at a perfect, glorious level of tightness. And the best part is: They are always like this. They never underperform. They are always at the top of their game.

He has that suave kind of charm, the confidence that says, "Take off your pants" with only a glance, and you're like "UM, yes. They're off already. They are off. They are on the ground. Let's do this."

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