Captain Raymond Holt (aka Velvet Thunder, for that one episode) is the jewel in the crown that is Brooklyn Nine-Nine. The man hates metaphors, loves corgis, and would do anything to protect his squad (especially his surrogate son, Detective Jake Peralta).
Here are 29 of Captain Holt's finest (and funniest) moments from his time as TV's most literal and lovable father figure.
1.When he played the gay card better than it has ever been played before.
2.When Cheddar the corgi was kidnapped and Holt went on a John Wick–style rampage to get vengeance for his fluffy boy.
3.When he saw through the bullshit.
4.When Holt neutralized a situation through the sheer power of dance.
5.When Rosa told Holt that his and his husband Kevin's fight wasn't really about a math problem.
6.When he immediately knew that his new assistant was trying to seduce him through the cunning use of knots.
7.When he correctly guessed why Amy was late to work and celebrated with uncharacteristic glee.
8.Whenever he goes undercover as one of the straights.
9.When he was one step ahead of Amy and Jake in their Halloween heist preparations.
10.When he was stung by Cheddar's defection to Terry's side in the heist.
11.When he let Rosa know that things would get better after she came out to her parents as bisexual, and her mother had a hard time accepting it.
12.When Jake tried to lie about why he accidentally called Holt "Dad," and the captain teased him but also confirmed that he was cool with it.
13.When he purchased some novelty T-shirts at a low point in his life but still managed to maintain some dignity.
14.When he tried out a new look and didn't *quite* pull it off.
15.When he made it clear that Cheddar wouldn't compromise his fashion sense.
16.When he embraced code names, to Jake's delight.
17.When the squad tried to guess how Holt would react to trying his first "marshed mallow," and Charles's impression was shockingly accurate.
18.When Amy's request for lunch briefly transformed him into a poet.
19.When he was surprisingly enthusiastic about Jake sliding across the newly waxed precinct floor and straight into him.
20.When he just knew that Rosa would appreciate a good balloon arch as much as he did.
21.When he refused to play along with Jake's ridiculous fake backstory...until it was just what he needed to solve a case.
22.When he tormented Jake with a choice piece of gossip he knew he could never repeat.
23.Whenever he got an opportunity to tell his nemesis Madeline Wuntch just how much he despised her.
24.When Terry called a meeting to announce Wuntch's death, and Holt assumed that it was about something else entirely.
25.When he was asked to plan Wuntch's memorial service and used it as a canvas on which to paint his final insult.
26.When he tried to make Rosa feel better about being in prison by saying her name over and over and over again.
27.When he got vulnerable and confessed how he felt around his husband Kevin's academic colleagues.
28.When he got a little intense about keeping Kevin safe after his life was threatened.
29.And finally: When he and Terry danced to distract Amy from the fact that she was giving birth in a police precinct.
What's your favorite Captain Holt moment? Tell us about them in the comments!
