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Get your butt glue on, ladies. It's show time.

What Type Of Pageant Goer Are You?

Pick a color:

Pick a celebrity:

Pick a crown:

Pick some flowers:

Pick a dessert:

You're her mama, and that's your baby up on the stage. You've been to about 9,843 pageants, and you've never lost your own sparkle. Your purse is stocked with a healthy amount of butt glue, self tanner, and stray lashes just in case your baby has a breakdown backstage. You watch your daughter shine on the stage and ghosts of your own pageants float back. Tonight is all about you - I mean her...

The Overzealous Pageant Mom

You've been dragged to entirely too many of these things. Why has it cost you this much money to see your own daughter prance around a stage in a swimsuit and high heels??? You've sat through hour after hour of practices just to make sure her arms are swinging correctly when she walks in a fancy dress. You just want a cheeseburger. PLEASE SEND HELP.

The Oblivious Pageant Dad Who Literally Has No Clue

You're already more fabulous than all the other girls, because well, you've already won the damn thing. Now you have to smile and pretend that everything's perfect when you're literally so bored. Why are these newbies even trying to emulate you. They'll never be as good, so they might as well peel off their butt glue and walk on home. "What? Yes, yes I am the REIGNING queen."

The Has-Been

You've been waiting for this night for months: your best friend is about to take the stage and win that crown!!! Wait, HOW many other girls are in this pageant? Wait.... your friend DIDN'T win that preliminary award she's been working so hard for the past YEAR? Who IS that girl that thinks she runs this pageant??? And who is this rando behind you who keeps cheering for her?! STEP OFF!!!

The Once Excited Now Drained Friends

No, you're not super creepy - you just know every girl on the stage because you've probably coached them at one point. You cheer for every girl at the top of your lungs, but you've always got a critique in the back of your (probably bejeweled) pocket. You're the first in the lobby to say hi after. And - God forbid - if one of the dancers does some fancy work on the floor - well you know darn well she's a goner.

The Pageant Coach

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What Type Of Pageant Goer Are You?

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