So you wanna go to Coachella?
Let's walk you through what you're getting into..
First, liquidate your assets to be able to afford the hottest three days of your life:
Next, find a companion:
Now make all of your travel plans (and screenshot/Tweet/Instagram/Facebook post/Vine) as they happen
Start a Pinterest board for outfit inspo and ridiculously overpack
Whatever you do, don't forget your flower crown!!!!!
Okay, now let me tell you what you're in for..
Must: In N Out on the way to Indio
Be prepared to be have your car, all your belongings, and yourself thoroughly searched both at check in and at security checkpoints before you enter festival grounds each day:
What you think you will look like:
What you'll actually look like:
And what some people actually choose to look like:
The art installations are not meant to scare you, but rather act as landmarks to set meeting places for your group of friends
But get comfortable with dancing by yourself for long periods of time, because chances are you will lose your friends anyway
Get some selfies in before your phone dies/you black out/you give up on your appearance altogether
Speaking of phones, Coachella is the Bermuda Triangle of lost IDs, iPhones, and digital cameras
Don't forget you're in a desert
So make friends with your neighbors back at camp and they'll let you play on their slip 'n slide
Bring a bandana for the occasional sand storm
Take some more selfies
Don't forget to actually, you know, watch some bands
Remember that only adults over 30 who bring babies actually hang out in the Heineken beer tent
Before it all ends, soak up all the Coachella glory during Outkast
Festival ends, you pack up "camp", all serotonin depleted. Forgetting what proper hydration and nutrition feels like, the only thing that makes sense is In N Out
PCW (Post Coachella Withdrawal) kicks in somewhere between posting all of your festival pictures on Facebook and eventually cutting off your sacred wristband
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