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25 Pinoy Tweets About Sex That Are Frankly Funny As Fuck

Don't subo.

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1. This unexpected college requirement:

2. This surprise pun:

"anong gusto mong gawin ko?" "jack ma dick"

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3. The newest beauty trend:

4. Plot twist:

Grindr guy: "Versa here. Gusto mo ng tirahan?" Me: "Basta bungalow at malayo sa West Valley Fault."

5. Plot twist too:

"Bro tikman mo tong cake na gawa ni mama" "Ikaw nalang tikman ko bro tutal gawa ka rin naman ng mama mo" "Bro" "Bro"

6. Branding:

Bakit yung title sa sex tapes nyo kelangan may branding? Like "chupaan with Savemore guy" or "CarFun with Jollibee… https://t.co/WNwHVykEsZ

7. As seen on TV?

May nagbebenta ng Gel na pampalaki daw kay Junjun. Sabi ko patingin muna ng Junjun mo kung totoo ngang nagpapalaki.… https://t.co/70K4vevacL

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8. What's in your pants?

cosmo sex tip #32: slide her hand into ur pants. when she says, "wow ur dick is so hard" reply "that's not my dick that's a malignant tumor"

9. Third wheel:

Yung feeling mo malalandi mo yung may jowa pero bes solid sila:

10. *hiya*

*sa mercury drug* me: ate may strepsils po kayo? ate: yung para sa deep throat? me: what ate: me: ate: what

11. Ang kulit mo!

me: may nipple tape po kayo?????????? ate watsons employee: para saan po???????????? pota para sa pepe ate isasara ko lang

12. Sabaw.

Shuta po ng pharmacist ng mercury. Sabi ko pabili ng fern-c. Binigay sakin condom. Pahiya ako dami tao. Shuta talaga.

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13. *giggles*

14. Ano ba?!!

My friends are getting married or pregnant. PUTANGINA NIYONG LAHAT ILAN NABA INAANAK KO THIS YEAR GRABE NAMAN YANG MGA PEKPEK NIYO HA.

15. Pati history medyo bastos:

16. Krissy naman eh!

Yung alter friend mo na puro booking nalang ang ginagawa 🙃

17. Not sure if yummy...

*netflix & chill* "hey do you have some chips"

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18. Gutom ka pa?

Oh wow uhm yeah so ehem sausage rolls

19. Luhod!

Baklang friend 1: i need sex. Baklang friend 2: bakla ur body is a temple Bakla 1: yes, and everyone can visit and pay homage on their knees

20. What?

21. HAHAHAHA:

Mom: *nanonood ng Working Beks* *Gay sex scene goes on* Mom: Baka matulad ka dyan! Me, *internally*: HAHAHAHA I'VE DONE WORSE

22. This savage dad:

Me: Di nalang ako mag aanak Dad: Sa libog mo niyan taon taon ka mag kakaanak Me: lol enge milk money

23. This timely advice:

Pag harutan, harutan lang. Don't subo!

24. Seriously, listen:

If you already know that someday he will make suko, don't subo. A friendly reminder

25. So before you answer that booty call:

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