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11 Bullshit Things About Online Recipes

Get to the dang recipe already.

1. When the author tells you their life story before getting to the actual recipe.

2. When they say it will take 20 minutes, but you know that shit is going to take hours.

3. When a recipe is rated five stars except that everyone who reviewed it also put their own little twist on it.

4. Claiming that the recipe is "easy" but you see about 47 steps when you open it.

5. Or when they pull you in with a recipe of very few steps, but each step is insanely complicated.

6. You pull the recipe up on your phone but your hands are all sticky from disgusting raw chicken juice so it's more trouble than it's worth.

7. When the recipe calls for a tiny bit of something that is only available in gigantic bunches.

8. Or when they ask you to open a whole new bottle of wine for just a tablespoon of the stuff.

9. When a pinch of something is integral to the recipe, but you know full well that that $18 bottle of whatever will never get used again.

10. The little *surprise* recipe at the end if there's some kind of extra thing you have to make with it.

11. And when you work your butt off to make the perfect dish, yet it doesn't taste nearly as good as the instant stuff.