Recently, we asked members of the BuzzFeed Community to share what they wish they could say to their immigrant parents.
Submissions ranged from expressions of pain to overwhelming gratitude. Here are some of the most powerful responses.
1. This lesson in resilience:
My family is Armenian-Palestinian and my dad moved to America from Jerusalem in the late '80s. I want to thank him for teaching me resilience and pride, as well as how to handle ignorance and racism with grace.
I'm very grateful for growing up with our language, food and culture, despite fighting "being different" for years of my childhood. I wouldn't be who I am today without it.
2. This recollection of a much-documented childhood:
It annoyed and embarrassed me as a kid that you always had a camera and had us stop to take pictures for quite literally any moment. It wasn’t until I got older and realised that for you, having a camera, film and lots of baby photos was a luxury that your family couldn't afford.
Now I appreciate that there are pictures of the first time we went ice skating, of us in the park and of my school accomplishments. I can re-live these moments and feel loved because I know you wanted me to have something you didn’t have growing up.
3. This expression of pride:
When I was little, I thought it was so useless that my parents taught me the Tokelauan language and I was embarrassed that they didn’t speak to me in English at home or in public. I wanted to be like every other kid who ate hamburgers and grilled cheese, but my mom only made Tokelauan food at home, like grilled fish, taro and lu (green vegetables) in coconut cream sauce.
But now, being an adult, I’m really glad that my parents immersed me in my Tokelauan culture so much, especially since it’s not one many people are exposed to in this country. They worked so hard, both at work and at home, and I’m proud to be Tokelauan.
4. This heartwarming statement:
My parents moved to the US from Mexico when they were in their 20s. My dad worked late and often came home exhausted, but he gave us all he could. My mum came with my dad and didn't know how to speak English. She learned English along with us in our kindergarten class and kept on volunteering — until she took the GED and passed. My brother and I were able to go to college and are debt free, thanks to our parents who paid for it entirely. No loans, no financial aid, just my parents' hard work.
I am proud of what my parents accomplished. Coming to a country, not knowing the language well and getting degrees and good jobs — I have no choice but to succeed with them as an example. Thank you, to both of them, for everything.
5. These mixed feelings of gratitude and anxiety:
My parents immigrated from Southern China to the US in the late 1980s. While I appreciate everything they have done for my brothers and me, their guilt-tripping me caused many mental anxieties and problems. They made us feel guilty for everything, even for just being born, and that we are indebted to them.
6. These words of admiration:
My Dad came to the US from Taiwan, barely knowing any English. He put himself through grad school by bussing tables in Reno, Nevada. He got paid under the table and wasn’t even sure if they were paying him what they actually owed. When studying, he had an English to Chinese dictionary right next to his textbook and would have to look up the words, one by one.
He worked so hard to become a success — getting a great job, buying a home and providing for our family of four. He put my sister and me through college. He truly embodies the "American Dream" and what you can achieve with grit and sacrifice.
7. This declaration of love:
You came to the U.S with nothing — but you’ve given me everything. All the sacrifices you’ve made for me and my future will never be in vain. I would have never gotten my degree had it not been for your push and encouragement. I love you, Mum.
8. This complicated relationship with culture:
I am very thankful my parents moved to America from India to give my brother and me a good life. There are some aspects of our culture that I no longer accept because I was raised in a different environment. I am very proud and thankful for other parts of our heritage. I just want my parents to know that I will always have a critical eye and that even though I am Indian, I will not love every part of Indian culture.
9. This gained perspective:
I used to resent you for not having the same kind of jobs like those of my friends' parents and that instead, you were working all the time — but now, as an adult, I understand. I couldn’t be more proud to be a child of Polish immigrants who fled communist Poland and came to the US with two suitcases. Thank you.
10. This expression of gratitude:
During the late '80s, my mum and all of her immediate family moved to Australia from South Africa when she was 18. I’m very grateful that I was taught Afrikaans and brought up eating their favourite cuisines and food from home. I’m also grateful that they told me an uncensored version of what it was like living in South Africa, which makes me even more relieved that they decided to move here and get away from all the violence that ensues there.
11. This acknowledgement of gained opportunities:
Nicaragua was in the middle of a revolution and my parents had an opportunity to come to the US. They went through a lot to come here — losing touch with family members and friends, learning a whole new language on the job and rising above ignorant comments made to them. Through their sacrifices, they successfully had three kids graduate college and own a home.
We may have our disagreements because we've entered adulthood under different circumstances, but I'm thankful for everything they've done for me and my siblings. I could never thank them enough for sacrificing so much with their family in mind, so that we can grow up with more opportunities than they had.
12. This determined statement:
My dad came here from Mexico in the '80s — my mum came in 2002. They’ve had the same job as waiters ever since I was born and they also work extra on holidays, just so me and my brother have a place to sleep and food to eat. It is because of them I am encouraged to pursue whatever I put my mind to.
13. This painful admission:
While I appreciate and am grateful for the things my parents have given up to get my siblings and I to the US, the constant guilt-tripping I've had to endure my entire life has caused major anxiety and self doubt. As an adult, I often think about how I never had a childhood. I was too busy making phone calls and running errands for my dad for as long as I can remember.
14. This appreciation for suffering endured:
Thanks for doing everything you possibly could to give me and my three siblings a better life. There were times then — and now — that are still rough and we try to overcome them. We’re all teaching each other because of generation/cultural gaps, but I have never felt like I had anything to worry about growing up.
You two may have suffered in silence and the older I get, the more I understand the difficulty you may have had. My only hope is to succeed like you have wanted and to repay those debts.
15. This emotional realisation:
Both sets of grandparents and my father were born and raised in Mexico and immigrated to the US. My mum was born in the States and was a first generation American. They came from large, poor families and spent long days working in the sun, with little to call their own. Because of them I am proud of my culture and heritage, work hard and I recognise my privilege. Even though our family is still lower middle class, it is still leagues above where my parents and grandparents started.
Though the case with many children of immigrants is their parents are very strict with them, my parents had a lot more understanding. My mom and abuela always encouraged me to study hard, but also set aside time for myself. They wanted me to have a better, easier life than they did and I appreciate them for that. For me, seeing and hearing about their struggles forced me to have more empathy and compassion for others.
16. This grateful recognition:
My father — who is from Mexico — came to the US when he was a child. His family were migrant workers and were always moving between different states for said work. He and my mum had me when they were very young, still in high school, and he knew that working at Taco Bell and Whataburger wasn't going to cut it, so he joined the military.
It is because of him I was able to get a degree. He has taught me about sacrifice and hard work and I will always be grateful.
17. This recognition of sacrifices:
When I was four, my parents, sibling and I left Argentina to go live in the US. I grew up here and didn't really think much about it, except that my parents left so my brother and I had a better chance at our future. After 20 years, I finally visited Argentina for the first time and got a chance to see the whole family my parents left behind for us.
My mum missed out on her mother's death because she couldn't travel. They left for a country where they didn't know the language, but yet they still worked hard to provide for my brother and me. My dad left behind his best friends and our home. I never thought about all of the sacrifices they made for us, but I appreciate them a whole lot more now.
18. This heartfelt thanks:
Thank you for teaching me our native language and always continuing to use it at home. It’s let me keep a beautiful part of our heritage and helps me keep in touch with all our family overseas.
19. And finally, this powerful message of gratitude:
What else would you want to say to your parents if you had the chance to? Let us know in the comments below.
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.