5 Situations That Lead To Awkward Small Talk

When a 21 year old undergrad, majoring in Biotechnology, morphs into a blubbering blowfish..

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Being the kind of person who gets awkward even carrying a conversation with a stranger for more than a minute, it’s fair to say that making ‘small talk’ isn’t my strong suit. When approached with a possibility of undergoing such a conversation, my body becomes alien to me. I start by simply staring vacantly at the person, leading up to making odd sounds and essentially take the form of a blow fish.

My mouth keeps opening and closing as I puff up with embarrassment, waiting for the ground to open and swallow me whole.

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So it’s safe to assume that I try to avoid such situations like a plague, but there are some places and some situations that make it entirely impossible. Following are the 5 places where no matter what one does; an awkward conversation is bound to happen.

1. The Barber Shop

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It does not matter that you’re at the shop for a short trim of the hair or an elaborate haircut; once you get into that seat you are stuck. Bound to sit there, with your body strapped back into the chair with the white towel, you are alone and at the mercy of the barber. And while you pray fervently that the barber remains busy talking to other, you know what’s coming and there is never an escape.

By the end of the haircut, the barber knows everything from the homework that you haven’t done to your deepest fears. They have a way of getting one to talk and once they start, they never stop.

2. Beauty Salon

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Now this might seem similar to the barber shop but it’s actually a 100 times worse. When you’re in a parlor and you’re getting a proper spa treatment then you are at the attending's disposal for a solid few hours. And what better way to kill those pesky never ending hours than talking. And it’s not like you can pretend they aren't there or ignore them, since they are right in your face, temporarily attached to you like a body part.

3. Restaurant

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Now this situation comes with its set of conditions. The place leads to an awkward small talk fiasco when you are the first one to arrive at your table and the other friends take a good 20 minutes to reach. From having to explain to the waiter that you are not a hobo that has come to dine on a table that seats 10 people, to warding him off after every ten minutes when he arrives with the menu. And when those talks aren't enough, you have to suffer through the pitying looks the waiters’ gang passes you as the clock ticks along.

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Headphones. Books. Phone.

Your shield to avoid small talks but sometimes even they arent enough.

4. The Line

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The line signifies any occasion or location where you have to stand in a queue for a very long time, be it a cinema ticket line or a bank. Once you enter the line, you are indefinitely stuck. So,when you realize that the person in front of you or in the back is someone you know, you curse to the powers that be and try to avoid eye contact as long as possible. However, if luck is truly not by your side and it never is, there is a 100 percent chance that the person will spot you and then the small talk begins. How much can one talk to the other person as the line moves along at a snail pace, you wonder? Not. A. Lot.

There will inevitably come a time where you morph into a blow fish and create an awkward silent moment that becomes cringingly obvious to even the strangers around you.

5. Dentist

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The dentist is the most evil of places mainly because their small talks only ever start once they have 6 instruments shoved down your throat. And then they expect you to respond. Even when you’re staring at them, giving them the look that says, “Hey man, I can’t talk since there is a giant rod that’s almost choking me to death.” But they just stare back and keep on asking questions till you gurgle out a response. Spawn of Satan, is a befitting title for them.

So there you have it, that's my top 5 most awkward situations that lead to small talk. There are numerous more since for an awkward person like me any situation is a blowfish moment waiting to happen. Sound off below if you have a situation that rivals mine!