1. A hand-shaped cookie cutter. Make a tray of hands giving the thumbs up for your friends and a tray of hands flipping the bird for your enemies.
2. A caddy to save your poor, oh-so-sensitive fingers when you're taking a hot plate or bowl out of the microwave.
3. A gorgeous translucent travel cup you can use for hot or cold drinks.
4. An iron-on patch to point to whenever someone tries to bother you during nap time.
5. A "decomposition" (it's made from post-consumer-waste) book.
6. A teeny tiny elephant who longs to wrap her trunk around one of your fingers. Ever so gently.
7. A serrated blade for making crinkle-cut fries or pickle chips at home.
8. Adorable plush versions of Shake Shack's famous crinkle-cut fries.
9. A pug to faithfully and dutifully hold your pen until you're ready to begin writing your masterpiece. Or just a note that says, "get toilet paper."
10. A passport for keeping track of experiences, rather than the countries you've visited.
11. A metal clip to ~elegantly~ sweep your hair up off your sweaty-ass neck.
12. Creature Clash!—a witty, strategic card game where you create new creatures out of real-life animals.
13. A juice glass with (a bit of) your name on it. The first letter of your name, to be exact.
14. An "illustrated chronicle of the greatest wins, misses, and matchups" for sports lovers.
15. The cutest flashlight you've ever seen. Buy one for your kids or just to keep under your bed (in case of "oh shit, the power's out" emergencies.... or "oh fuck, I'm still scared of the dark" ones).
16. A box filled with 100 animal-themed postcards by ten different artists—send 'em or frame 'em, both options are totally valid.
17. A liquid eyeliner pen that dries quickly, lasts for twelve hours, and helps you get flawlessly clean lines.
18. A handsome faceted marble and wood paperweight you'll want to keep on your desk even if your office is completely paper-free.
19. "Aww"-worthy "milk bottles" filled with correction tape—they'll actually have you hoping to make a mistake.
20. Quirky glazed stoneware bowls to store candy, change, keys, condoms, pretty stones, or anything else that'll fit.
21. Cruelty and chemical-free, all-natural, hypoallergenic laundry detergent pods for bright, clean, stain-free clothing.
22. A bottle of deep-cleansing moisturizing, pore tightening, baby-skin-creating "freshener."
23. Distractables—a "super cute, very nice" coloring book to cheer you up on your next bad day.
24. A pair of socks that'll give you a craving for mac and cheese.
25. A headphone splitter keyring—it'll make it easier to share the latest song you're ABSOLUTELY OBSESSED WITH with your friend.
26. A customizable pin. You 100% need to get two and give one to your BFF.
27. A temporary succulent tattoo to wear until you're ready to get the real thing.
28. A (super cheap!) bag o' 80 building blocks anyone who ever has young children visiting their home should own. Your boyfriend's niece will appreciate your purchase.
29. A pocket comb to give the dirtiest dog you know.
30. An iridescent tea pot that'll make you oh so glad you're a "tea person."
31. Slimed DIY so you can learn how to make amazingly gooey slime at home.
32. A hydrating balm for lips that feel like they've been wandering through a desert for eons.
33. A set of merry, animal-shaped, "hardworking" erasers ready to come to your rescue in their trusty bus.
34. A fashionably fuzzy baseball cap for people who probably wouldn't normally consider themselves to be ~baseball cap people~.
35. An illustrated book filled with useful and unexpected life hacks.
36. A candle for Outlander fans. Light it, take a deep breath, and imagine you're in the Scottish highlands with Jamie.
37. And a tote bag you should fill with one thing and one thing only: DELICIOUS, FLAKY, BUTTERY CROISSANTS!
The reviews in this post have been edited for length and clarity.