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1. A welcome mat so you can greet your overly-patient parents with a prank before they even knock on your door.
2. A serial killer coloring book that's gonna have them questioning your rather ~sketchy~ choice in stress-reliving activities.
3. A sweatshirt to show the 'rents you haven't lost your grim sense of humor *or* fantastic fashion sense. But watch out with this one, if they find out you're planning on wearing it to dinner they just might ~ghost~ you.
4. A hand-painted storage box that'll give your parents a compliment they'd really rather not receive from you, or your home decor.
5. A laser cut wood sign to show them you're following their example when it comes to solving life's little frustrations.
6. A cookbook that'll require a key ingredient you most likely won't find in the pantry of your childhood home.
7. A single dagger earring for giving your pun-loving father a chance at saying, "Cut it out with the creepy accessories!"
8. A bottle of temporary tattoo ink that might make them cringe when they realize you're a fully grown adult and still "drawing on yourself."
10. A boyfriend pillow you better put away quick before your mother finds out you've picked it over the "nice fellow" from her office she keeps trying to set you up with.
11. Or a Spot Popper that'll gross your mom out so much, she'll wonder how someone like you even came out of her (actually, pretty similarly to this, TBH).
12. A cheeky collapsable laundry hamper for Game of Thrones fans who aren't afraid of their parents finding out their laundry habits haven't gotten any better since high school.
13. A selfie light that'll make your TikTok videos flawless...although your dad may not appreciate the fact that their dorky ways are center stage.
14. A vintage inspired Playboy hoodie, because your parents are totally fine with you wearing whatever you want...just not at your Opa's 84th birthday.
15. A refrigerator full of microwave dinners sure to stress them out when they realize you haven't figured out how to make a home cooked meal after *this* many years living away from home.
16. An inappropriate canvas bag with a character both nakey and defiant, that says exactly what your parents will think of your tote choice.
17. A cardboard cutout – hiding this around the house to terrify your family won't be a (penny)wise way to convince your parents you've stopped ~clowning~ around, but it's certainly worth it.
18. A pair of strappy stilettos – your mom has always told you to "break a leg" whenever you've had a performance, but in these strappy shoes they'll be worried it may happen for real.
19. A spell book just might make your parents think you're cooking up something other than lasagna at the family dinner.
20. A BBQ homesick candle – sure, your parents would probably prefer a nice lavender scent when they visit your place, but your dad may warm up to it. He is the grill master (i.e. hasn't stopped grilling you on what you're planning to do with your life) after all.
21. Or an underpant-clad squirrel air freshener that smells like pine, for moments when you'd prefer enjoying a nice smell but still wanna make your parents feel a little squirrely.
22. A leather Gucci belt bag, because if they find out how much you spent on a "fanny pack" you're totally gonna get kicked off the family Netflix plan.
23. The Unicorn Cookbook that'll be cause for concern when your parents realize their sweet-toothed sweetheart is in charge of their own grocery shopping these days.
24. A breathtaking ouija board sure to have your parents flipping out (especially when the spirits flip it over).
25. A jar of activated charcoal toothpaste – your dad will sigh if he sees it, because it's not the trend he was hoping you'd pick up as far as dental hygiene is concerned (hint: it is flossing).
26. A satirical shirt your parents may find distasteful (particularly because your brother's name is Toby).
27. Does It Fart?: The Definitive Field Guide to Animal Flatulence, a book sure to make your parents wonder why they encouraged your Zoology degree.
28. A pack of 15 Shakespearean-insult adhesive bandages for impressing your parents when one of them gets cut and you actually have bandages around...even though they themselves have no interest in adding insult to injury.
29. A pack of six strange sodas that'll certainly not be what they expect when you politely offer your parents a drink.
30. A Dustin Chia Pet your mom won't appreciate as much as she should, because this is a little ~stranger~ than what she had in mind when she mentioned you should get some houseplants.
31. A strawberry toilet seat – it's gonna prove to them that, despite what a ~berry~ good kid you are, you're really never getting over your potty humor.
32. A hair follicle and flesh plush doll sure to have your parents wondering if you loved being raised by two dermatologists a little *too* much.
33. A wine bottle umbrella – sure, they'll be bummed you didn't show up with an actual bottle of wine to your family picnic, but they'll stop ~wining~ about it when you save the pasta salad from a sudden spring shower.
34. Or a bracelet flask that'll seem like a great idea to help get you through your visit...until your dad sees you sipping from it.
35. A pet stroller, because this is not the kind of stroller they wanted to see you pushing at this point in your life.
36. And finally, a wine glass which, if your parents find it, is sure to lead to a conversation on portion control that'll make you need an even bigger wine glass.
When your parents see your stuff and aren't so sure about you anymore:
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