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    Updated on Mar 14, 2020. Posted on Mar 13, 2020

    36 Products That Might Be NSFP (Not Safe For Parents)

    "It's not mine, I swear." But it is.

    We hope you love the products we recommend! All of them were independently selected by our editors. Just so you know, BuzzFeed may collect a share of sales or other compensation from the links on this page if you decide to shop from them. Oh, and FYI — prices are accurate and items in stock as of time of publication.

    1. A welcome mat so you can greet your overly-patient parents with a prank before they even knock on your door.

    The Minted Grove

    Time to push some *lovable* buttons!

    Get it from The Minted Grove on Etsy for $34.

    2. A serial killer coloring book that's gonna have them questioning your rather ~sketchy~ choice in stress-reliving activities.

    Amazon, Mallory Mower / BuzzFeed

    Promising review: "Exactly what I expected to get! Very nice paper and the backs of each picture is blank so you can rip them out or use markers without worrying about them bleeding through if you want to!" —Amanda Hichue

    Get it from Amazon for $7.92.

    3. A sweatshirt to show the 'rents you haven't lost your grim sense of humor *or* fantastic fashion sense. But watch out with this one, if they find out you're planning on wearing it to dinner they just might ~ghost~ you.

    Femfetti, Mallory Mower / BuzzFeed

    Wanna wear this when the weather gets warmer? Grab the T-shirt version instead!

    Get it from Femfetti on Etsy for $30.40+ (available in unisex sizes S–5XL).

    4. A hand-painted storage box that'll give your parents a compliment they'd really rather not receive from you, or your home decor.

    Amazon

    Promising review: "I love it! It's high-quality, lighthearted, and useful!! That’s a triple-threat combo when it comes to home decor! I have two toilet paper rolls inside the box that are standard size and one on top that is a mega ultra roll. It still fits, I just prefer the look of the tower. This is useful, funny, sturdy, and trendy." —Mallory

    Get it from Amazon for $29.95.

    5. A laser cut wood sign to show them you're following their example when it comes to solving life's little frustrations.

    Westerlund Home

    Although they may be less than thrilled that you picked up on their foul mouths over their keen problem solving skills.

    Get it from Westerlund Home on Etsy for $24.

    6. A cookbook that'll require a key ingredient you most likely won't find in the pantry of your childhood home.

    Amazon

    Your parents totally hide their stash better than that.

    Promising review: "This is extremely informational. It offers so much information about different strains, I was shocked. I expected a plain cook-book, but what I got was information regarding the cannabis you use and the different effects it has on the food you cook! It's awesome!" —Daniel Sulzbach

    Get it from Amazon for $13.99.

    7. A single dagger earring for giving your pun-loving father a chance at saying, "Cut it out with the creepy accessories!"

    Regal Rose

    Which basically means everyone wins.

    Get it from Regal Rose for $48.

    8. A bottle of temporary tattoo ink that might make them cringe when they realize you're a fully grown adult and still "drawing on yourself."

    Amazon

    Promising reviews: "This is such a neat product. It really looks like a real tattoo! This is a great product if you're testing out a tattoo that you're thinking about getting or if you just don't want anything too permanent! Overall this is a great product and I've already recommended it to many friends!" —Cindy J.

    Get it from Amazon for $20+ (available in two sizes).

    9. A rather shocking shower curtain they will think is, "Not funny, Miranda."

    amazon.com

    You can even get a bath mat to go with it!

    Promising review: "This is a very good Halloween decoration curtain. It's very thin but it's worth the price. I will use it in the guest bathroom. The room is hardly used so I am certain that it will last for quite some time." —Clemens

    Get it from Amazon for $4.95.

    10. A boyfriend pillow you better put away quick before your mother finds out you've picked it over the "nice fellow" from her office she keeps trying to set you up with.

    Amazon

    Promising review: "Not only am I obsessed with this pillow, so are are my fur babies! I've honestly never slept better. It's the perfect cuddle, with no morning breath or awkward goodbyes. This girl loves it! 🙌" —Caren Lewis

    Get it from Amazon for $34.99 (available in eight colors).

    11. Or a Spot Popper that'll gross your mom out so much, she'll wonder how someone like you even came out of her (actually, pretty similarly to this, TBH).

    Amazon

    Promising review: "Oh my gosh. Where do I start with this? My wife has this insatiable urge to pick at pimples. She keeps bugging me. I got tired of it. This seemed like a good distraction. She LOVES the thing. Personally, I think it's gross. But it satisfies her urge to poke at pimples. So I'm happy." —Steven

    Get it from Amazon for $12.99.

    12. A cheeky collapsable laundry hamper for Game of Thrones fans who aren't afraid of their parents finding out their laundry habits haven't gotten any better since high school.

    Amazon

    IDK...~Arya~ sure you want your parents to see this?

    Promising review: "This is a really good product! It holds sufficient amount of laundry. Well built, the quality is nice." —Amazon Customer

    Get it from Amazon for $15.90.

    13. A selfie light that'll make your TikTok videos flawless...although your dad may not appreciate the fact that their dorky ways are center stage.

    Amazon, amazon.com

    This clip-on cellphone light is rechargeable and has three brightness levels. It uses 36 long-lasting LEDs to illuminate ya face, and it's simple to use – just press the power button to turn it on/off or to adjust the brightness levels.

    Promising review: "This is a selfie game changer. It's a great product and works as described. The light has three settings that gradually gets brighter as you click the power button. It definitely makes a difference in your pics." —eryckahvii

    Get it from Amazon for $13.99.

    14. A vintage inspired Playboy hoodie, because your parents are totally fine with you wearing whatever you want...just not at your Opa's 84th birthday.

    Missguided

    Get it from Missguided for $47 (available in sizes 0–14).

    15. A refrigerator full of microwave dinners sure to stress them out when they realize you haven't figured out how to make a home cooked meal after *this* many years living away from home.

    instagram.com, instagram.com

    Fortunately they'll feel much better when they find out how nutritious these are!

    This is the first meal subscription (and hi hello I've tried them all) that I haven't gotten tired of, and I've been a member for almost a year! They have fantastic year-round and seasonal meals, with portion sizes that will actually fill you up. They all take under four minutes to make and require zero prep. I've all but forgotten how my oven works at this point and I'm not mad.

    Get it from Freshly for $7.99+/meal (available in multiple subscription options).

    16. An inappropriate canvas bag with a character both nakey and defiant, that says exactly what your parents will think of your tote choice.

    Sophie Corrigan

    It's bath time all over again.

    Get it from Sophie Corrigan on Society6 for $24.99+ (available in three sizes).

    17. A cardboard cutout – hiding this around the house to terrify your family won't be a (penny)wise way to convince your parents you've stopped ~clowning~ around, but it's certainly worth it.

    amazon.com, amazon.com

    Promising review: "My son screamed when he walked in the room, and we had just opened it to see how it looked. It looks fantastic and I don't feel quite as ridiculous spending this kind of money on cardboard. I'm using it to scare the snot out of an ornery coworker who was born on Halloween by hiding it in his office with an attached red balloon and a happy birthday sign. Then I'm attaching it to my covered front porch for Halloween." —Amazon Customer

    Get it from Amazon for $39.95+ (available in three styles).

    18. A pair of strappy stilettos – your mom has always told you to "break a leg" whenever you've had a performance, but in these strappy shoes they'll be worried it may happen for real.

    Free People

    Get them on sale from Nasty Gal for $31.35 (originally $57, available in sizes 5–9).

    19. A spell book just might make your parents think you're cooking up something other than lasagna at the family dinner.

    Amazon

    Promising review: "This is less a book about witchcraft than an excellent self help book with rituals, chanting, and self-help ideas under the guise of spells. This is more about feeling free, taking care of oneself, and teaching ways to encourage positive thoughts and energy with a few historic notes on the holistic care, independence, and lives of supposed witches back in the day. That said, the rituals and self care tips in the book are catchy and I definitely felt like a better person after reading it." —Madalyn

    Get it from Amazon for $12.56.

    20. A BBQ homesick candle – sure, your parents would probably prefer a nice lavender scent when they visit your place, but your dad may warm up to it. He is the grill master (i.e. hasn't stopped grilling you on what you're planning to do with your life) after all.

    Homesick

    Get it from Homesick for $29.95.

    21. Or an underpant-clad squirrel air freshener that smells like pine, for moments when you'd prefer enjoying a nice smell but still wanna make your parents feel a little squirrely.

    Amazon

    Promising review: "The scent isn't particularly strong or special, but man is this thing cute. I bought it as a Father's Day gift for my husband from one of the dogs. 'Where do you find this s%&t?' he asked, giggling like a wee school lass." —Niki GD

    Get it from Amazon for $4.49.

    22. A leather Gucci belt bag, because if they find out how much you spent on a "fanny pack" you're totally gonna get kicked off the family Netflix plan.

    Nordstrom

    Promising review: "This is a great bag and I get compliments all the time. I highly recommend it!" —FashionCam

    Get it from Nordstrom for $790 (available in two colors).

    23. The Unicorn Cookbook that'll be cause for concern when your parents realize their sweet-toothed sweetheart is in charge of their own grocery shopping these days.

    amazon.com

    Promising review: "This was a gift and it was a total hit. I give this five stars." —Rachel Murillo

    Get it from Amazon for $14.99.

    24. A breathtaking ouija board sure to have your parents flipping out (especially when the spirits flip it over).

    Matt Verges

    You can also grab a print of this piece if you love the artwork but have no plans to start playing games with the spirit world.

    Get it from Matt Verges on Etsy for $220 or grab a classic board on Amazon for $15.84.

    25. A jar of activated charcoal toothpaste – your dad will sigh if he sees it, because it's not the trend he was hoping you'd pick up as far as dental hygiene is concerned (hint: it is flossing).

    amazon.com

    Promising review: "This stuff works! My husband didn't know I started using this and after the first time I did he was surprised to see my teeth were visibly brighter and asked if I had my teeth professionally done. I use it twice a week and love my white smile. Really helps with overall oral health and my breath is noticeably cleaner (even in the morning)." —Ladacnom

    Get it from Amazon for $9.97.

    26. A satirical shirt your parents may find distasteful (particularly because your brother's name is Toby).

    Wicked Clothes

    Get it from Wicked Clothes for $28 (available in sizes XS–2XL).

    27. Does It Fart?: The Definitive Field Guide to Animal Flatulence, a book sure to make your parents wonder why they encouraged your Zoology degree.

    Amazon

    Promising review: "This was a gift I gave my 45-year-old son! Yes, they never leave the fart phase. ;) But this book is actually filled with very interesting info – there's lots of science written in an entertaining fashion, and the simple illustrations fit perfectly. I'll admit that I read it before giving it to my son. He will now be the most popular teacher on his high school campus because hey, who else knows that sloths don't fart? LOL! If you're looking for something different for a gift, consider this. I think I'm going to order another one!" —Maryann Watkins

    Get it from Amazon for $11.33.

    28. A pack of 15 Shakespearean-insult adhesive bandages for impressing your parents when one of them gets cut and you actually have bandages around...even though they themselves have no interest in adding insult to injury.

    amazon.com / Via amazon.com

    Promising review: "I love these bandages!!! My daughter's school recently performed Macbeth and these were a hit during build week!! My daughter started handing these out when people were injuring themselves, and they were a HUGE hit!! A lot of laughs!! Perfect." —DB

    Get it from Amazon for $6.33.

    29. A pack of six strange sodas that'll certainly not be what they expect when you politely offer your parents a drink.

    Amazon

    This selection includes Bacon, Peanut Butter & Jelly, Ranch Dressing, Sweet Corn, Pumpkin Pie, and Buffalo Wing.

    Promising review: "These taste absolutely terrible, but we had an awesome time trying them while camping. If you're looking for something to do that's fun at a party, this is it! One bottle could be tried by probably 10 people." —Lisa

    Get it from Amazon for $23.69.

    30. A Dustin Chia Pet your mom won't appreciate as much as she should, because this is a little ~stranger~ than what she had in mind when she mentioned you should get some houseplants.

    Amazon

    Promising review: "This is a must for any Stranger Things fan." –ruth ann

    Get it from Amazon for $19.97.

    31. A strawberry toilet seat – it's gonna prove to them that, despite what a ~berry~ good kid you are, you're really never getting over your potty humor.

    amazon.com, Amazon

    Promising review: "I purchased this for my toilet room. I liked that it gives me great color and is easy to put on and clean. I definitely recommend this if you love strawberries and enjoy fun things!" —UTBlue

    Get it from Amazon for $39.99 (available in 42 styles).

    32. A hair follicle and flesh plush doll sure to have your parents wondering if you loved being raised by two dermatologists a little *too* much.

    Amazon

    Promising review: "I got this for a dermatologist and she absolutely adores it. If I had to complain, I'd suggest they make other skin tones in addition to this one, but all of the I Heart Guts plushies are great for people who aren't grossed out by physiology!" —JC

    Get it from Amazon for $22.99.

    33. A wine bottle umbrella – sure, they'll be bummed you didn't show up with an actual bottle of wine to your family picnic, but they'll stop ~wining~ about it when you save the pasta salad from a sudden spring shower.

    Amazon

    Promising review: "I was excited to find this clever umbrella and thought it would be the perfect gift, especially for my wine drinking friends. I received it quickly and it was everything I expected and more! I love the quality of this umbrella and holder. The colors are bright and the canister (bottle) is strong. This is a unique, practical, and fun way to keep dry!" —Feef Dillon

    Get it from Amazon for $22 (available in 23 styles).

    34. Or a bracelet flask that'll seem like a great idea to help get you through your visit...until your dad sees you sipping from it.

    Amazon

    Promising review: "I thought it was silly at first but it's one of the few things I never loose and no one questions me about it, so it's perfect!" —Amazon Customer

    Get it from Amazon for $12.18 (available in nine colors).

    35. A pet stroller, because this is not the kind of stroller they wanted to see you pushing at this point in your life.

    Amazon

    Promising review: "Our dog seems to be quite comfortable in it and it is stable and easy to push. This makes it much easier than using a leash to take him with us around large groups of people." —Jill C. Holleque

    Get it from Amazon for $39.99+ (available in three colors).

    36. And finally, a wine glass which, if your parents find it, is sure to lead to a conversation on portion control that'll make you need an even bigger wine glass.

    Amazon

    Promising review: "This glass totally surpassed my expectations. I thought it was going to just be a cute gag gift for Christmas but the quality is fantastic. It will last forever." —Dani

    Get it from Amazon for $14.99+ (available in three styles).

    When your parents see your stuff and aren't so sure about you anymore:

    ABC

    Looking for more great finds? Check out some of our favorite cheap things to buy on Amazon, some of the weirdest things on Amazon you might actually want, or read through all the rest of our incredible Amazon product recommendations.

    Need to find your parents a gift to apologies for your inappropriate home? Check out the posts below:

    33 Things That Make Perfect "Just Because" Gifts For Moms

    Just 32 Great Gifts Under $15

    24 Interesting Products For The Least Boring Person You Know

    Shopping for something specific? Check out BuzzFeed Reviews to find the best things for every budget!

    BuzzFeed

    The reviews in this post have been edited for length and clarity.

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