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1. A firework chandelier — a modern statement piece that'll enhance your front hallway, showing all your guests you REALLY know how to make an entrance.
2. A tarot candle trio for mystical souls who know keeping an eye on the past, present, and future is a ~bright~ idea.
3. A glam-as-can-be leopard sculpture can give your room the revamp it needs — all on its own! Honestly? It'd be cat-astrophic to skip out on this piece.
4. A caffeinated butt mask that'll be a delightful addition to the (rear) end of your skincare routine — excessive as a butt mask may seem.
5. A tri-leg chair with a bold design that's gonna show what a party animal you really are...even if you spend most of your free time sitting around reading novels in your party animal chair.
6. A serpent area rug for folks who are looking to add some edginess to their decor. Snakes oughta do it!
7. A Chicken Daddies calendar that'll be a hit with farm-lovin' folks who aren't too ~chicken~ to show off some laugh-out-loud funny decor.
8. A Lego bouquet — a surprisingly lovely piece that's sure to look good botanic-all over your home. Best get at least three.
9. A pair of light saber chopsticks any lifelong Star Wars fan would Jedi for, no matter how grown up they may seem.
10. A pair of horizontal reading glasses so you can get home at the end of an exhausting day and read or watch TV without even exerting the effort it takes to sit up.
11. A roll of peel-and-stick wallpaper that's gonna take you to a tropical paradise — without even leaving your home. Honestly, you won't beleaf how much this wild wallpaper improves a room!
12. A baby announcement box for people who want to give out egg-celent baby announcements or shower invitations that are as *extra* as they are. My kinda people!
13. A brick house dress, because home is where the heart is and your heart is certainly gonna be with this heavenly "homey" dress.
14. A pack of 15 Shakespearean insult adhesive bandages for people who aren't afraid to add insult to injury. Oh? You studied theater in college? I couldn't tell.
15. A salt shooter you can give someone who would love nothing more than to hunt the world's most dangerous game, the pesky housefly. That...or use it to season their food in the most exciting way possible.
16. A unicorn head squirrel feeder that may look a little (a)corny in your yard, but you're gonna love it anyway.
17. Fish slippers — wear these on a date to the beach and your S.O. is gonna know they got a real catch when they got you.
18. A bold jumpsuit (that's actually, well, industrial-grade coveralls) so your outfit can be the statement piece that best complements your trademark crimson lip.
I jumped on the jumpsuit trend so fast I practically ripped my old pants off my body. I love jumpsuits. So much. I love being able to buy one article of clothing and be in a complete outfit. Jumpsuits are bold (which, if you’ve ever had to use the bathroom in one, you know already) and beautiful. The only issue is that they make a statement in your closet, but also your bank account. I bought these industrial coveralls to test how easily I could get the look of a jumpsuit without spending the $200+ price tag I usually see them going for.
And guess what, kiddos?! This one is worth it! The material is sturdy, it cleans easily, and (unlike so many pieces I’ve purchased lately) it’s not see-through.
I myself, am hippy. And by that I mean I have the kind of lush round hips that make my grandma say, “Don’t worry, birth will be easy for you. Give me grandkids.” To best complement those curves, I fold the waistband over. If there’s ever a time I want a less curvaceous look, I keep the suit as is and saunter my way around with a slightly more subtle figure. The sleeves are a little wider than a regular women’s top, and originally I thought I would alter them, but they actually make for a perfect retro-feminist shoulder-pad vibe, and I dig it. The collar is also seven levels of hella cute — it’s big and bold and looks great up or down.
I paired this piece with earrings and shoes worth more than my apartment from a local boutique that I love, because shopping local is still chill, and I couldn’t be happier with the result. I’ve also dressed it down with my usual bed-head and white sneakers and was equally satisfied. Turns out you can’t top the quality of an industrial-grade article of clothing, and can’t resist a catwalk when you’re wearing it.
Get it from Amazon for $34.82+ (available in sizes S–XXL and seven colors).
19. An orange juice vase is gonna be the juiciest piece of decor you've ever owned.
20. A custom dog nose necklace — as everybody who has a dog ~nose~ how sweet their little snouts are! Keep this precious piece around your neck so you can have a bit of your best bud with you 24/7.
21. A titanium utility ring with files, saws, screws, pliers, and more. Give this to your S.O. and you — much like this piece — are gonna be wrapped around their little (ring) finger.
22. An octopus mug — get ready to be overly attached to an inanimate object, because one sip from this ceramic sea creature and you're gonna want it by your side on tentac-all of your adventures.
23. A jerky bouquet so you can apologize to your sweetheart in a funny and fun way after you realize the silly ~beef~ you two had was probably your fault. Or, more specifically, *hangry* you's fault.
24. A leaf shine formula for plant parents who give their little leaves *extra* attention. Look at that shine!
25. A bestselling squirrel picnic table sure to be the *most* practical purchase you could make for your yard...if ridiculously adorable wildlife photos are what you want in life.
26. An adjustable stick figure floor lamp you can add to your furniture family when you leave your roommates and realize it's still kinda nice to have another body around (as long as that body isn't eating your leftover stromboli).
27. A pair of mod boots to show off your colorful personality even when chilly weather has you pulling out all your black and gray outfits.
28. A Build Your Own Cheese Box that's gonna give you a chance to snack on delicious, fancy cheese to your heart's content. An overzealous love of cheese is my main personality trait.
29. And a Death Star cheeseboard for fans who don't mind how cheesy their love of Star Wars (and sharp cheddar) really is.
30. A beer can chicken roaster to help you put the pedal to the metal while cooking up your famous backyard BBQ.
31. A rainbow utensil set can add some color to your meals, even if your love of Midwestern casseroles means you cook food that is rather...beige.
32. A tufted wool leopard rug that'll be the new, fashionable touch to your living room your friends will ~spot~ in an instant.
33. A pack of absurdly pretty toilet paper made of bamboo for *cheeky* maximalists who wanna live in a world where clashing patterns are the rule, rather than a rarity...even when it comes to toilet paper.
34. A coffee table from BloomingTables you'll simply ~plant~ in front of your sofa and then let the compliments roll in. I own this and I have never, in all my years, had a piece of furniture receive so much attention. People go wild over this thing!
35. A goldfish umbrella — a funny accessory that's sure to add some whimsy to a rainy day, even if walking around with it looks a little fishy.
36. A very boring banner you can hang across your fireplace with pride. If the biggest adrenaline rush you get is from cancelling plans last minute to stay home among your eclectic decor...this one's for you.
37. And finally, a bottle of drinkable glitter to make sure even your drinking water is *extra* special.
The only thing I, a maximalist, wants in life:
