12 Ways To Pretend You Have Control Over Your Life

How to make it look like you’ve got your act together when, in fact, you don’t.

1. Make your bed every morning.

Via tumblr.com

Making your bed will instantly make your room much cleaner, and you'll be able to find the shoes that otherwise would've been hiding under your comforter halfway on the floor. You also won't be tempted to climb back in after breakfast.

2. Put items on a to-do list that you would do anyway.

Via blogger.com

First, you need a to-do list. A Post-It note will suffice. Then, put easy things on there. Get out of bed? Check. Get dressed? Check. You'll feel so accomplished. And it's OK to add things you've already done, just so you can cross them off.

3. Go to the dentist every six months.

Via cdn2.teen.com

The more often you go, the less scary (and less expensive) each visit will be. Trip to the dentist just not gonna happen? At least tell your coworkers you're going to the dentist and then take a long lunch. It's all about appearances.

4. Slide everything on your bathroom counter into drawers.

Via images4.fanpop.com

Just open your drawers, stick out your arm and sweep everything in there. A clean countertop will make it seem like you're on top of things. If visitors are ridiculous enough to snoop, they deserve to find your nasty hairbrush you haven't cleaned out in . . . ever.

5. Mark all your emails as read.

Via wordpress.com

An empty inbox will make you seem like you've got a handle on life. Mark all your emails as read and make a simple system for marking emails that actually need your attention. Want to take it a step further? Instead of just deleting junk emails, take 30 seconds to unsubscribe from one a day. Eventually, unnecessary emails will stop cluttering up your life.

6. Toss on a blazer.

Via s3-ec.buzzfed.com

A blazer is an instant outfit maker. Got a graphic tee and jeans? Throw on a well-fitting blazer, and it'll look like you put thought into your appearance. And while we're on the subject of clothing, just don't purchase clothes that need ironing, dry cleaning or anything silly like that.

7. Two words: cuticle care.

Via styleite.com

Clip those nails, clean under those fingernails and take care of your cuticles. A lot of people see and shake your hands, so make sure they are clean and soft. Don't paint your nails if you can't maintain them. Half-painted nails do not make it seem like you are in control of your life.

8. RSVP right away.

Via professionalfangirls.com

If you get an invite to a Facebook event or an invitation in the mail (yes, people still send those), just respond right away. You won't seem like a loser. Just hurry and choose chicken or fish and send that card back to your engaged cousin. People really appreciate RSVPs, and you will seem so responsible.

9. Buy bananas.

Via tumblr.com

People who have fresh produce around the kitchen look like they care about their health and think about their eating habits. When the bananas go bad because you don't actually like bananas, tell your roommate she can make banana bread with them if she shares with you. Then you both win.

10. Keep a plant alive.

Via giphy.com

This may seem daunting, but the trick is to get a hearty and forgiving plant that won't be too upset if you forget about it for a few days. Always neglect to water plants? These are for you: aloe, a jade plant, a ficus, or an Acrea Palm. Your future mother-in-law will be impressed.

11. Organize that junk drawer.

Via i.imgur.com

Remember how you were told earlier to just shove all your stuff in drawers? That definitely works for outward appearances. But for you to feel like you're in control of your life, you need to be in control of your junk drawer. Pull out 10 things you actually need, and throw the rest away. Ahhhh, doesn't that feel good?

12. Wake up five minutes earlier.

Via tumblr.com

This will give you time to find your shoes, eat that banana you hate, unload part of the dishwasher or iron a shirt on a day when you wake up feeling ambitious or have no other clean shirts to wear. A smooth morning will help you have a smooth day. Imagine walking into the office with a somewhat coordinated outfit (including an ironed shirt under that blazer) and a banana in tow. #winning