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The 24 Worst Things To Say To Someone From DC

Maryland is not DC. I'm sorry, it's just not.

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1. "Do your parents work in the government?"

gawker.com

Maybbbe. Who wants to know?

2. "Do you know the president?"

reddit.com

Oh yeah, BO and I are just chilling in the oval office smoking cubans.

3. "Don't take Connecticut, the president is moving."

NBC / Via rhymeswithpapaya.tumblr.com

But I have a lunch at Sweetgreen to go to.

4. "Topper Shutt said it may rain today."

EVERYONE TO YOUR WEATHER BUNKERS!
i.qkme.me

EVERYONE TO YOUR WEATHER BUNKERS!

5. "I think they installed a camera up here on the right."

Seriously, how many speeding cameras does this city need?
oldstersview.wordpress.com

Seriously, how many speeding cameras does this city need?

6. "I'm from DC." "Oh really, where?!" "Well, Bethesda"

Okay, so you're not from DC.
Flickr: ed_welker

Okay, so you're not from DC.

7. "Georgetown Cupcake is the best cupcake place in DC."

Wrong. Baked & Wired for life.
crazyaboutcupcakes.wordpress.com

Wrong. Baked & Wired for life.

8. "Ovechkin sucks."

newsfromthenosebleeds.com

Ovechkin has won the MVP trophy 3 times and by season's end, he'll be one of the 100 greatest goal scorers in NHL history. He's also only 28. What did YOU do today?! C-A-P-S CAPS CAPS CAPS.

9. "Shake Shack is better than Five Guys."

Two words: Cajun Fries. KBYE.
Flickr: 40726522@N02

Two words: Cajun Fries. KBYE.

10. "Why is the Metro always delayed?"

HBO / Via peculiargroove.tumblr.com

Welcome to my life. Just wait until the escalator is down at Tenleytown.

11. "There is no good pizza in DC."

instagram.com

Want to go to Jumbo Slice?

12. "Do you go to the monuments all the time?"

Why would I do that? But people born and raised in DC know the real trick is to go at night when it's the most beautiful.
Flickr: 11690864@N02

Why would I do that? But people born and raised in DC know the real trick is to go at night when it's the most beautiful.

13. That "WE'RE LIVE FROM FUR."

i133.photobucket.com

Driving home listening to other people dancing at a club is horrible. Hot 99.5, just slowly back out, no one will notice.

14. "I heard the pollen count is going to be really high this month."

NO!!! HIDE YOUR CARS OR YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO FIND THEM. HURRY!
40weeks.modernmami.com

NO!!! HIDE YOUR CARS OR YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO FIND THEM. HURRY!

15. "LA has the worst traffic."

HBO

DC is hands down the most confusing city ever. A street you're on will disappear or change names randomly. And NW vs SW having the same street that don't connect? Are you serious?

16. "What's go-go music?"

wifflegif.com

Wait, really? That is so sad.

17. "Woah, another protest."

Yeah, DC is a giant protest. It's more surprising to not see one, than to see one.
Mark Wilson / Getty Images

Yeah, DC is a giant protest. It's more surprising to not see one, than to see one.

18. "You're not essential, so you can't get a car here. Sorry."

youtube.com

Okay no one has said this to me but can you imagine?! Like damn you Eastern Motors! I knew this shutdown would screw me over somehow.

19. "Your metro has carpet? That's disgusting."

We like living in the 70s and while the carpet is discolored, the fact that we can't have food on the metro makes ours cleaner than yours, so...
fuckimlonely.blogspot.com

We like living in the 70s and while the carpet is discolored, the fact that we can't have food on the metro makes ours cleaner than yours, so...

20. "There are no flights out of National. But there are seats on a flight out of BWI."

Netflix / Via media.giphy.com

Urgh I guess. But getting a flight out of National is like hitting the jackpot.

21. "Where is your Chinatown?"

That is a damn good question. RIP.
pqliving.com

That is a damn good question. RIP.

22. "I'm a Cowboys fan."

NBC / Via kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com

Oh, I'm sorry. I couldn't hear you over how much you suck.

23. "Why is DC so broken?"

NBC / Via viacurious.tumblr.com

DC ISN'T BROKEN. WE DIDN'T CHOOSE THESE HOOLIGANS. WE DON'T EVEN HAVE REPRESENTATION. DON'T BLAME US.

24. "You're just here until you move to New York, right?"

Eff off man. DC4Lyfe.
Flickr: anahon

Eff off man. DC4Lyfe.

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