The 24 Worst Things To Say To Someone From DC

Maryland is not DC. I'm sorry, it's just not.

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8. "Ovechkin sucks."

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Ovechkin has won the MVP trophy 3 times and by season's end, he'll be one of the 100 greatest goal scorers in NHL history. He's also only 28. What did YOU do today?! C-A-P-S CAPS CAPS CAPS.

11. "There is no good pizza in DC."

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Want to go to Jumbo Slice?

15. "LA has the worst traffic."

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DC is hands down the most confusing city ever. A street you're on will disappear or change names randomly. And NW vs SW having the same street that don't connect? Are you serious?

18. "You're not essential, so you can't get a car here. Sorry."

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Okay no one has said this to me but can you imagine?! Like damn you Eastern Motors! I knew this shutdown would screw me over somehow.

19. "Your metro has carpet? That's disgusting."

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We like living in the 70s and while the carpet is discolored, the fact that we can't have food on the metro makes ours cleaner than yours, so...