1. This year was a scary year because Mary-Kate Olsen continued a relationship with a man 68 X her size, putting her tiny frame at risk of being crushed at any moment.
2. Mary-Kate (yes, she’s in this pic) was in grave danger of accidentally being stepped on many times throughout 2013.
3. Or being pushed down into the ground like a shell into the sand.
4. Fact: She’s 5’2” and he’s 12’7” (a hazardous difference!).
5. While it may seem he is “kissing” her, the sheer force of his gigantic body on hers could possibly make her crumble to the ground like a house of cards.
6. IT WAS WORRISOME.
7. Scared for her head.
8. BECAUSE OH GOD IT’S GONE.
9. And now he is using his giant powers to literally suck the life out of her.
10. We prayed for her. And for her furry being.
11. And it wasn’t just his X-TREME size that could possibly endanger her, but witness how he farts in her face:
12. And then pulls her in close to smell it.
13. This year he also tried to use his giant airhole to blow her over. AND WE SHOULD BE THANKFUL SHE DIDN’T FALL.
14. BE SAFE, MK. We are here for you.
- Nope, President Donald Trump will not release his tax returns after an IRS audit, the White House says, despite pledging to do so.
- President Donald Trump has commented on yesterday's massive Women's Marches asking, "why didn't these people vote?"
- Kellyanne Conway says White House press sec. Sean Spicer didn't lie about crowd size at Trump's inauguration. He gave "alternative facts."
- Aziz Ansari has made history as the first South Asian to host 'SNL.' In his monologue, he called Trump "the Chris Brown of politics."