Why 2013 Was A Truly Terrifying Year For Mary-Kate Olsen
May you grow six inches in 2014.
This year was a scary year because Mary-Kate Olsen continued a relationship with a man 68 X her size, putting her tiny frame at risk of being crushed at any moment.
Mary-Kate (yes, she's in this pic) was in grave danger of accidentally being stepped on many times throughout 2013.
Or being pushed down into the ground like a shell into the sand.
Fact: She's 5'2" and he's 12'7" (a hazardous difference!).
While it may seem he is "kissing" her, the sheer force of his gigantic body on hers could possibly make her crumble to the ground like a house of cards.
IT WAS WORRISOME.
Scared for her head.
BECAUSE OH GOD IT'S GONE.
And now he is using his giant powers to literally suck the life out of her.
We prayed for her. And for her furry being.
And it wasn't just his X-TREME size that could possibly endanger her, but witness how he farts in her face:
And then pulls her in close to smell it.
This year he also tried to use his giant airhole to blow her over. AND WE SHOULD BE THANKFUL SHE DIDN'T FALL.
BE SAFE, MK. We are here for you.
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