I really like Zooey Deschanel. I think she's talented, and I recently rewatched all of New Girl and laughed a lot!!! But I do not understand her Twitter presence, and I have so many questions about its existence. I need help, tbh, because I have spent too long thinking about it, and now I'm writing a post about it.
Okay, so the thing is, Zooey's account is filled with tweets that look like this:
When the universe shuts a door, take it off its hinges and use it for decoration.
There's a pattern here:
Orange you glad I...how’s that joke go again?
The tweets consist of a posed photo with a caption inserted that kind of goes along with the picture, and is maybe also punny:
Patiently waiting for the other guests to arrive at my pink party 🦩Probably going to be sitting here for the next few months...
My biggest question is: WHAT IS THE STRATEGY HERE?
It’s all fun and games until it’s time to clean up.
But I have smaller questions too. Like, where is this photo taken? And why? And was the shoot solely for a tweet that would make a joke about sewing machines? Who conceptualized this? What is its PURPOSE?
Thought about writing a sewing pun, but would much rather hear yours. Sew excited to see what you’ve got 😉
Here we have another posed and professional-looking photo, with a caption that could relate to ANY picture of anyone, but it was chosen for this picture:
It might not look like it in this photo, but I'm actually mid-workout.
Did she dress up specifically with this tweet in mind to go with this picture?
Taking guesses on how long you think I was able to stay in this state of uninterrupted peace for. *Hint - not very.
Is her boyfriend, Jonathan Scott, the one taking these pictures? Do they carve out time in their day for these small photo shoots?
Alright, you can come in! But first - what's the password?
Do they then have a quick brainstorming session about what the caption will be? I have no PROBLEM with this, I am just befuddled by it:
Funny seeing you around these parts! (Me to myself everyday in my house)
This is another "orange you glad" joke, but now it's with a photo of Zooey standing in front of a door that looks like it leads to a classy bar situation:
Orange you glad it’s a new day 🍊
Is this her house? Her bed???
This counts as cardio, right?
Is this her bathroom?
Pondering existential questions in the bathroom per usual.
Is this her porch swing, or did she go elsewhere for the content?
Fall in full swing. Playlist suggestion: Autumn Leaves by Nat King Cole 🍁
And this tweet just warps my brain because if anything, she's the lady with all the dresses!!! In fact, this is the first jumpsuit I've seen her in!!!
Hey, it's me, the lady with all the jumpsuits!
Please, God, I never ask U for anything, so just this once, help me and give me the answers I'm looking for:
Always remember to stop and smell the unscented flowers 💐
I feel like I should clarify again that I have no problem with these tweets, I just don't know what I'm supposed to do with them:
Waiting for the attention these sleeves deserve.
Maybe nothing? Maybe I need to just get over it and accept whatever they are FOR WHAT THEY ARE, WHICH IS THIS!!!!!!
Waving hello to... wait, stop! Where are you going? Come back!
But then, once in a while, she tweets something different, which makes me wonder about all the other tweets even more. 'Cause, like, this is a good tweet!
For all the doubters...
And so is this. I laughed! 'Cause her hat is big! It's like having a side of mashed pototoes with your gravy. I get it!
Had a great hike this weekend with my hat. @JonathanScott was there too
But the majority of her stuff is what I've shown you here today. As to those posts, I wonder. I don't even wonder anything specifically, I just wonder. Maybe that's the point? It's like art — it just makes you think?
It's 2020, so stop and smell the roses! Or wear them! Whatever you want!
Anyway, I think I feel better just by talking through this. Thanks for coming on this journey with me. Bye!
Happy Sunday! You’re one in a melon.