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Please Share With Me Your Absolutely Favorite Funny Tweet

Give us the goods so we can laugh too.

There are a LOT of funny tweets. Like, a billion probably. But right now I want you to share with me the ULTIMATE FUNNIEST/BEST TWEET YOU'VE EVER HAD THE JOY OF READING.

For example, when I reached out to friends and colleagues and made this same request, this is what they gave me:

I feel like there's a giant meatloaf inside of me

At what age does Ryan Gosling have to change his name to Ryan Goose

nasa employee: oh hey u guys are back early astronaut: moon's haunted nasa employee: what? astronaut: *loading a pistol and getting back on the rocket-ship* moon's haunted

[through chopstick walrus tusks] divorth?

Food $200 Data $150 Rent $800 Candles $3,600 Utility $150 someone who is good at the economy please help me budget this. my family is dying

Does anyone think global warming is a good thing? I love Lady Gaga. I think she's a really interesting artist.

So now, I call upon you, dear readers of this post, to share with me the tweets that wake you up laughing from a deep slumber. Put them in the comments below!!!!