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    One Time David Beckham Wore These Pants

    Goodbye world, I never knew you.

    Once upon a time in a dark, dark world (the year 2003) David Beckham wore these pants.

    THESE. PANTS.

    Whose crotch is longer than a footlong sub.

    Whose pants have stray seams all over the legs.

    Whose cuffs are flowing over his shoes like a flooded river.

    IT WAS MADNESS. IT WAS A SAD TIME FOR EVERYONE.

    He felt so bad about the pants he offered someone roses to apologize for them.

    But they can't be forgiven.

    The End.