3."When a character doesn't immediately explain what happened to stop the conflict. 'Just let me explain; I swear that's not what happened. If you just let me finish, I'll tell you! Please, just listen to'— SHUT UP! JUST SAY IT! 'I didn't kill your [insert familial person here]. I tried to save them, but I was too late.'"
7."The fact that horror movies are super dark. And I don't mean dark plot-wise — I mean dark in the sense that I can't see what the fuck is going on. I get that horror is creepier at night, but how can I be scared when I can't see what's happening on the screen?"
10."'What happened?' 'I don't know; let's check on the news...' TURNS ON TV...in perfect timing, 'If you are just joining us, here is the plot wrap up of the thing that the heroes need to know.' Cuts TV off immediatly after important newscaster dialogue."
11."When a 10-second countdown actually lasts 30+ seconds. Like when a bomb is going to explode in 10 seconds, but we spend the next 30 seconds watching the characters run a whole football field away before it explodes."
12."When nobody turns a light on. If I'm woken up by a weird noise in the middle of the night (especially if I think my house is haunted), I'm turning on every damn light I walk past. Drives me up a wall when people wander around in the dark in movies."
14."One thing that annoys me on TV and in movies is when they bring the whole turkey to the table to carve. I have never actually seen this occur in real life. It is a messy and time-consuming process that you do ahead of time in the kitchen."
15."When they depict a family of five casually having a huge breakfast of pancakes, toast, cereal, eggs, bacon, and large pitchers of orange juice on a regular weekday before everyone leaves for work/school. Most of us are already at work or school by 7 or 8...did the parents wake up at 3 a.m. to prepare this feast? Who cleans it up? Why is there full sunshine outside? Why is no one in a rush?"
18."When a pretentious character quotes an obscure literary passage from memory, and another character instantly recognizes it and what it’s from. Example: Captain Douchecanoe: 'Only the witch’s tit can soothe the devil’s toothache.' Officer Smartypants: 'Yes, but Henry the Twelfth was drunk when he said that in Act 2, Scene 6.' Captain Douchecanoe: 'Ah, I see you, too, read Shakespeare. I’m impressed.'"
21."I can’t stand it when supposed scientists say to each other: 'I have a theory.' No, you don’t. You have a hypothesis. And if you were a scientist in real life you would NEVER say, 'I have a theory.' As a scientist, it makes me furious. Conversely, I LOVE it when a show gets it right. 'My hypothesis is ______.' Yes!"