You can see a youthful Pitt’s soul through his eyes because you can see through the sunglasses, which lead to his eyes and then into his soul. On a scale from 1–Elton John, these rank a 7.
These aren’t transition lenses but THEY MAY AS WELL BE.
You know what these sunglasses won’t protect you from? THE SUN.
His life was in sepia / He lived in a filter / Without his glasses / His life would be off-kilter.
“I know what we’ll do. Instead of the sunglasses just being completely transparent, let’s make the lenses purple! it will be beautiful! I’m going to look great!” —Brad Pitt under the influence of witchcraft
:( :( :( :( ~scary~ :( :(
The tint was too dark he thought
He wanted the tint to be light
Unfortunately for him
He was not right.
:( :( :( ~frightful~ :( :( :(
“PURPLE WAS GOOD, BUT LET’S TRY BLUE THIS TIME.”
“Look at me. Look at my eyeballs, I don’t even need to remove my glasses. It’s magic and style all rolled into one.”
“I can’t believe I’ve been rocking this look for 10 years and / It still looks great / I’m great / Nothing is bad.”
2009 was a turning point. Did Brad realize that it was OK that we didn’t see his eyes completely? Was he a changed man???????? WAS HE NOW?
NO SRY. SPOKE TOO SOON.
Things only got worse. Global warming was getting serious. Conflicts were rising. The ozone layer was thinning. Our fossil fuels were depleting. Brad’s glasses were getting see-through-ier.
Psalm 69: And he shall wear his glasses. And they shall be light as to see through the dark. And when he wears them his eyes will glisten. And he will guide those who have darker lenses and cannot see.
I AM THE TINT MAN. I AM HERE TO HYPNOTIZE YOU WITH MY FAIR TINT.
*Brad smizes and nothing stops his smize from being seen around the world. He checks his phone a minute later and sees a text from Tyra Banks: “Good job, but you could do better.”*
Brad has not stopped thinking about the text from Tyra Banks in a year. He knows he has to prove himself. He checks his phone after the event. Tyra has texted. “You’ve done well,” it says. He sighs in relief.
Sixteen years have passed and yet everything remains the same. Brad’s oculi sparkle behind his fading lenses. You can hear them speaking. They say: “We will never hide behind dark glasses. Try to hide us and you die.”
- Four people were arrested after Trump supporters and protesters clashed during a "Make America Great Again" rally in California.
- One person has been killed and at least 14 injured after a Cincinnati nightclub shooting early Sunday. Police are looking for one suspect.
- The deadly Westminster attack that left four people dead Wednesday began and ended within 82 seconds, police said Saturday.
- Heads up, Harry Potter fans. You can now get Butterbeer ice cream at your grocery store 🍦✨