Why The Fuck Does Anyone Put Guacamole In A Burrito?

It doesn't seem like the best place for guacamole.

First things first: Guacamole is good!

foodgifs.com / Via Giphy

But it’s good on other things, many other things. It’s a PERFECT dip – let’s be honest. And it’s also the nicest way to eat avocado.

But putting guacamole on a burrito is weird! It’s like putting Sriracha on pasta. Both of those things are totally awesome, but putting them together is just not the best way to eat either of them.

instagram.com

...I kinda wanna try putting Sriracha on pasta now.

Burritos just don’t need it. They might be a perfect food: everything you need, all held together in a way that means you don't even need cutlery.

instagram.com

Perfect for millennials too lazy to eat cereal because of the washing up!

Let’s back up a bit. The burrito was probably created in the early 19th century, in the U.S.–Mexico borderlands. But in a way, it's even older than that, as tortillas have been used to wrap food across the Americas for centuries.

Maxozerov / Getty Images

Those burritos were much simpler, and in fact many Mexican burritos continue to have only a few ingredients – meat and beans, or meat and rice, for example. They definitely shouldn't have guacamole.

But it’s 2016! Culture is global! All food is fusion! And yet, guacamole on burritos is still wrong.

youtube.com / sploid.gizmodo.com

Firstly, the texture is totally wrong. As it is, a burrito doesn’t have a huge amount of bite. It’s designed like that, but once you introduce guacamole it becomes a shitshow.

FOX / Via giphy.com

The guacamole turns it into mush, and not good mush – bad mush, mush that's annoying to eat and mush that somehow requires concentration to eat, mush that totally distracts from the beautifully cooked meat and perfectly flavoured salsa.

There's also a temperature issue: It can really cool the rest of the burrito down.

Secondly, the taste adds basically nothing. Again, guacamole is nice, but when you already have meat and salsa and sour cream and cheese and vegetables, you get no flavour benefit.

instagram.com

Avocado just isn't a strong enough flavour to truly add anything. You only really get a good taste of it when you don't eat any of the other stuff at the same time – which means why bother having it there at all? Sure, it still looks nice... It'd just be better without it!

And yet, despite the fact that guacamole costs extra, everyone is still totally happy to put it on their burrito, which is kind of crazy!

Paramount Pictures

Is putting guacamole on a burrito now a declaration of status? Does the astronomical rise of housing prices relative to wages mean that the only way that millennials can feel any semblance of personal success is to pay to add guacamole to a burrito?

emojiisland.com

But anyway! The point is that burritos are amazing, and they're even more amazing if you leave the guacamole off.

instagram.com

Maybe get some nachos as well and put the guacamole on that!

Bhofack2 / Getty Images